simply thoughts

First post

2011-11-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

I've posted my first post in my new (future?) blog. Someday, soon, I'll post a link. Message me if you want to see it sooner - but know that it is in it's veeeeerrrrrryyy early stages. I believe it will be my main blog as of next year, pending the start of my next adventure. It is something dear to my heart and that is all I'm saying for now.

In the meantime, look how beautiful my niece is!

Run?

2011-09-24T10:33:00.000-04:00

I completely forgot what I was planning on writing about in my last entry about follow through (aside from my haircut)! You see, last month when I was in Indiana, I was hopeful. I was motivated. I even downloaded an app on my phone.

I was going to run.

It seemed so possible back then.

Of course, optimism seems to rise when the temperature is a high of 85 degrees with a lovely breeze.

Then I came back to Southwest Florida and the humidity hit me, a hot, balmy, reality check. I don't even want to walk in this weather. I feel like my whole body slows down. Mowing last week literally almost did me in. And I don't mean 'literally' in the overused for exaggeration purposes. I mean 'literally' in the "I had to stop multiple times from dizziness, couldn't drink enough water, blacked out in the shower afterwards" sense.

So, running was out. At least until January. So I thought, "I'll buy a bike!" So I found myself a simple used bike with every intention of starting a new routine. Insomnia woke me up early so I decided I would go for a ride. I glanced at the weather - 78 degrees! Wonderful! Oh wait, what is that? Feels like? It was "feels like" 92 degrees! At 7:30 in the morning! Sigh. I'm probably still going to do it, but uuugghh.

No girl should ever have to choose between being overweight and heatstroke!

follow through

2011-09-21T17:18:00.000-04:00

As I've gotten older, I've noticed that I talk out my ideas. When I say, "I think I will audition for a play" or "I think I'm going to make a skirt out of a men's dress shirt" or "I think I'll cut off all of my hair," what I mean is that I've thought of an idea and I'm throwing it out there so I can process.

I'm afraid people may think I'm a bit of a flake when I don't end up doing even half of the things I say I will . I love a good idea. And I get interested in far more things than I could ever hope to accomplish.

But every once in a while I actually do one of the things I say I will.

Before:

And After!:

Now the question remains - will I make that skirt or audition for that play or recover my dining room chairs or mow the lawn or put in plants in the front yard or use mason jars for everything or make every recipe I see or start a bakery or become a public speaker or ....

Fran and Leon

2011-09-08T14:57:00.000-04:00

You know a story is going to be sweet when the main characters are named Fran and Leon.

And this is the real kind, not made up. Although I may someday write a children's book with main characters by those names. Because I'm smitten.

On Saturday I was struggling with our little lawn mower to try to mow a few weeks' worth of grass and weeds. I'm not exactly known for my physical prowess, so I was struggling a bit. Every few minutes I had to stop and dump grass clippings.

Then slowly a white car pulled alongside my yard and stopped. The window came down and a white haired man hollered at me, "You look like you have your work cut out for you!"

I wasn't really in the mood for commentary, but I looked up and put on my brave face and told him I was doing the best I could. He and his wife told me that they lived two doors down and began to make small talk with me about being from the midwest and whether I was of British descent. They told me their names, Leon and Fran, and I told them mine.

Then very conclusively Leon told me that he had a great riding mower and that they were going to the store but afterwards ("If it's not raining," said Fran) I'll come here and mow your yard for you. I tried in vain to talk him out of it, but it was settled. He told me that I would still have to do trim, but that he would be back. ("And if it rains, he'll come tomorrow," said Fran).

He was. A white haired angel on a riding mower. I had mowed for an hour and half already. I think it easily would have taken me another 5-6 hours to finish. What a blessing he was.

As Fran put it, "We're neighbors now, we might as well get to know each other." I'm just excited that I have neighbors like Leon and Fran.

pithy little complaints

2011-09-07T14:44:00.003-04:00

I made beignets Monday night. Pillowy, doughnutty, wonderfulnesses. Yes, I am aware that every word in my last sentence is made up.

These aren't mine. I forgot to take a picture of mine. These are Paula Deen's. But they don't have butter in them. Go figure. So - one of these days I'll remember that I have a fancy phone now with a camera and I will take pictures of such things. Someday.

The oil popped when I was making them, however, and my face and hand are now graced with some tiny burns.

And honestly? I'm just a little put out that my two little face burns look like zits and my hand burn looks like a big ole wart! It is really nothing to complain about, but as a card-carrying girl, I just don't like it.

Oh my prec!

2011-09-06T15:39:00.001-04:00

Preciousness. I wish I had my camera with me all the time when I was up north. I met 5 brand new babies and several of my friends' older kids for the first time. Silly me to not get any of them on camera! Some of them did, so I'm hoping that slowly but surely I'll get some pictures.

I did, however, get pictures of my nieces and nephews.

surprised by lilies

gathering for Grandma's table

learning from Uncle Craig

getting the hang of it

sweet sassy molassy

bubblegum, bubblegum, in a dish

sweet cousins, matching bangs

intent on his next move

blessed to be family

Fine Lines and Acne

2011-09-02T17:23:00.002-04:00

There is something I've noticed in the mirror lately.

Little tiny lines around my eyes. No, not the ones when you smile - the ones that stay after you smile. Also, huge honking zits, that keep showing up in the oddest places. Teenage zits are respectable, they come in normal places, like your forehead and nose. Late 20's zits? Totally unpredictable. Farthest corner of my jaw? Check. Near my ear? Check. Inside my nose? Really? And yes, Check.

I've decided that if there is ever a book to be written about this stage of my life it has to be called "Fine Lines and Acne - Negotiating Your Late 20's/Early 30's." Did anyone ever warn me about this? I clearly wasn't listening.

There are many quirky things about this era. I always thought that erm...shape shifting...would occur after I had babies. I am now convinced that this happens regardless of babies. Gray hair, curves, and fine lines all seem to be taking their rightful place on me. I "can't eat what I used to." Of course, I still do - but I am sure that somewhere 16 year old Abby is in shock at the hips on 28 year old Abigail.

Yet, I have a face that still fools people into believing I am in high school. Ticket takers are rarely close enough to see these little lines creeping in on my face and those few stray gray hairs. And today, when trying to wrangle my pre-haircut hair into something manageable, I came up with braids. Two of them. Surely there is a hairstyle out there that would make me look older than 14? But do I want it?

You see I can't decide if I want to look older or younger. I'm not wishing my youth away. I still hope to be a blushing bride someday. But I have no desire to be a teenager again. Those days are gone. (I wish the acne was too!) My body clearly can't decide either. Hence the fine lines. And the acne.

Summer Stats

2011-07-20T12:30:00.001-04:00

Well, since May, I have:

- Eaten about a million of the mangos mentioned in my last post.

- Added another year to my life. 28!? Really?

- Decided to try to use proper capitalization again in my blog. Stylistically, I liked all lowercase. But, it might be time?

- Went through Partnership Development training (yes, 5 years into living as support based missionary - maybe a tad bit overdue?).

- Visited 5 billion potential rental houses, found one, and moved in - with my roommate Tara.

- Had the first moving day in 5 years where I didn't break down and cry! Not once! Praise God and the amazing team of people who helped us. By NOON on moving day everything was out of our old house, kitchen was almost completely unpacked, beds were set up and made, living room finished and everyone was eating lunch. I took a nap on moving day! How awesome is that?

- Took a day away with God to focus my 28th year - He gave me a verse on His mercy - "He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." My prayer for this year is that I would understand God's mercy and be generous with it myself. And that I would stop focusing all my efforts on the "righteous" things I think I'm doing!

- Spent a last hurrah day at Busch Gardens with my roommates as we went from a trio to a duo.

- Made cute baby things.

- Started really enjoying the new house.

- Started really disliking both of my neighbors dogs' barking.

- Given the communion/offering message twice - stood in amazement in how God provides the words I need, when I need them and somehow uses bumbly me to speak to other's hearts.

- Worked. A lot. Hard. Cried with people. Celebrated with them. Crossed another name off my board as they went to the mission field. Stood in anticipation of reports of the gospel being shared globally.

- Did a mini photo shoot to get a new picture for my prayer card.

- May have figured out what to do about all my little short hairs (re-growth from the hair that fell out last year due to stress, I kid you not)!

- Dressed like a cow to get free chicken.

(how cute is my preggo cow friend, Helen?)

- Discovered how deeply I love Mason jars.

- Became addicted to Pintrest. It's so helpful and fun!

- And most recently, decided to totally nerd-out and watch all the Harry Potter movies for the first time. (I was never opposed to them and realized that someday if I read/watched and enjoyed them, I would kick myself for never seeing any of the movies on the big screen. I would prefer to read first, but this time I'm going to have to do it the other way around. I'm sure I'll still read them someday, probably when my kids read them.)

it's May...

2011-05-13T16:09:00.000-04:00

and it is hot, hot, hot! We've been rockin' 90+ degree temperatures daily for a while now and my struggling deodorant is proof. I just spent a few minutes outside chatting with one of the ladies here at the mission and I am steamy mess right now.

What can I say though? I love the sunshine. It's a beautiful thing that I enjoy greatly (ahem...from indoors).

We chatted about house rentals (so hard to find the right one!) and the guilt we feel during our many moves (I've averaged at least 3 a year for the past 10 years) because we feel we shouldn't have so much stuff. All the while I was blowing kisses with this pretty little pixie -

She was just a baby last year when she came through Orientation at the mission with her two big brothers. It's a ball watching her bubbly personality shine through. She's all bubbly, dainty, giggly, chatty, and a total ham.

Something good is coming from all this hot, hot, hot too. Can you spot them?

I'll give you a closer look -

Mmmmm...it won't be too long now until they are ripe! Do you know what they are?

it's a...

2011-04-04T13:49:00.002-04:00

saturday i made almost 80 cake pops to help my friends Shane & Helen announce their baby's gender. for two weeks i've carried the secret around, no one, including mom and dad-to-be knew.

so what would it be? blue or purple?

BLUE!!

almost everyone, including Shane & Helen thought that the baby was going to be a little girl - so watching the shock on everyone's faces as they bit into the cake pops was so much fun. it was so exciting to see everyone, from little kids to grandparents, get in on the excitement.

can't wait to meet you baby boy Kingery. your aunt Kylee would have been so excited to meet you. i hope you have a whole lot of her love and spunk. (Shane is Kylee's brother).

swamp boat

2011-03-25T13:58:00.000-04:00

mom and dad were in town a few weeks ago. during that time we decided to do a "swamp boat" tour on the everglades. it was exciting for all of us, including me, since i don't often do the "touristy" things around here.

just on the boat - momma & her sister, my aunt marilyn

daddy & i after we took off. the boats were loud - requiring our awesome headgear!

another boat with an unexpected ride-along!

(a funny bird is a pelican...his mouth can hold more than his belly-can!)

beautiful waterways we zoomed through!

our whole group - my parents, aunt, me, and two strangers!

and at the end of the trip we got our own visitor on our boat. his feet were literally about 2 feet from mine - if that!

he made me a wee-bit nervous.

another part of me just wanted to pull on his stretchy neck - but i didn't think that would end so well!

baby shower

2011-03-04T17:13:00.001-05:00

i threw a baby shower for my co-worker brittney a few weeks ago. we had it just in time, their little girl, Ezra, was born 4 days later!

it was so much fun to host at my new place, crowded, but fun. we had 15 people RSVP and almost 30 came! good thing i tend to over prepare!

mommy-to-be getting food

paper heart garlands!

we painted onsies for baby lohman - who NMSI folks nicknamed "Bohman" because we didn't know the baby's name or gender!

"TWEE" how cute is that?! and yours truly made the blocks onsie.

helen drew a treasure chest on the bottom of hers and labeled it, "precious booty inside!" and wrote "Treasured" on the front side.

even the mommy made one! (while looking amazing at 9 months pregnant!)

and finally, sweet Ezra Nichole after she made her appearance - in her "Love" onsie made by Beth!

generosity

2011-03-03T16:50:00.000-05:00

i can remember as a little girl taking in a quarter for nursery school offering at Faith Church. very happily digging it out of daddy's coin basket on his desk, carrying it in my little longaberger basket purse, and placing it in miss peggy's little, white, church-shaped piggy bank.

years later, as a babysitter and waitress, i wrestled with and then turned to proudly giving my tithe.

i'd always been a saver, so not having money was not so much a problem for me. but i've had to learn lessons about what to do with my other 90%, post-tithe.

i didn't have a job during my first two years of college, i worked in the summers and i knew my parents had my back. my junior year i happened upon 2 jobs. a resident assistant job in the dorms (that i didn't really desire, but applied for because i thought it would be fun and we'd have a bigger room) and a teaching assistant job with the new mission's professor, who my roommate was working for.

something changed in me. somewhere after earning money i started feeling like a "poor college student." i took the position of my friends. "i can't do that, i'm a poor college student."

i remember vividly my dad sitting me down over a break and telling me it made him sad to hear me say that. he told me i was not a poor college student because i had him and my mom. that instead, i should go out to eat or whatever, from time to time and if my friends couldn't afford it, then i should treat them. if i couldn't afford it, then i should charge it to them. the lesson was learned. rarely did i have to fall back on my parents, but i knew i could. instead a great lesson was learned.

generosity.

always find ways to be generous. God will always provide.

i think back now and wonder how destructive it would have been, had i enter mission work without this mindset. how many times would i have said, "oh, i'm just a poor missionary."

sometimes i need the reminder. but i am so thankful for the lesson to be generous and the joy that God allows me to have every time i give something away.

dying breed

2011-03-02T20:20:00.001-05:00

when i first came to NMSI the singles complained that the "era of the singles" was dying out. so many had married and the heyday of it being an organization of singles taking over the world was fading.

yet i looked around and we still had two full girls' houses and a full guys' house. we just had a lot of young couples and families too!

recently i found out that with more people leaving, i will be the only single, non-dating, full-time staff person at the cgo. we have 1 person each in a girls' house and a guys' house.

now. now the heyday is over. it's an interesting thing to be the only person in your bracket. i don't know of any other single, late 20s men or women around here.

don't get me wrong. i am BLESSED beyond belief at the people who God has put in my life. wonderful roommates, co-workers, amazing church family. and the reality is that, until God provides, no one truly can understand my life position but God. so here i stand and i depend.

God timer

2011-03-01T16:19:00.000-05:00

for the next two months i'm taking part in an experiment of sorts. it's been done before and it is described in the book Soul Revolution. as of yesterday, my small group is doing a 60/60 experiment.

one of those 60's stands for days, the other minutes. every 60 minutes i have a little kitchen timer go off telling me to stop what i'm doing and connect with God. we are doing this for the next 60 days. some people are using stopwatches, some are getting text messages, i'm using a small kitchen timer in my pocket, purse, or on my desk or counter.

no big deal, right? already i'm amazed. yesterday was emotionally rough. i'm not sure how i would have made it though without the constant reminder of God's presence. many times when that timer beeped i just prayed, "God, You're really there, right?" and then peace would wash over me.

one of my roommates said she got so annoyed yesterday, each time her phone went off. she was always in the midst of changing a poopy diaper or some other mess. i wholeheartedly agreed that - yes, it feels inconvenient to connect with God. i've already thought ahead to certain meetings and events and wondered how do i do this. and yet, at the same time, it's connecting with God - just once an hour! that feels like a definite less-than-minimum.

and yet i'm excited. yes, sometimes i know that timer will drive me nuts. but i can't help but think and hope that this little experiment has the makings of being transformational for us. because we are connecting to the Vine. and i am praying for fruit.

my kitchen is mocking me

2011-01-15T10:04:00.000-05:00

seriously. my kitchen is mocking me. while the rest of my house is packed up or already bare in preparation for my move across town today, my kitchen sits, untouched.

it's listed on my to-do list as, "Pack Kitchen - ugggg!!"

maybe it was that can-do spirit that got me to this point.

magnets still on the fridge. pan of brownies on the stove. avocado ripening on the counter. full cabinets, stocked fridge. i don't even know where to begin.

it think it's my 20+ moves since i moved out of my parent's house that has done this to me. because now i know. kitchen moving is hard! everything is breakable or perishable. everything is heavy. lots of little utensils. oy.

so did i come out of 3 months of no blogs to complain about kitchen packing?

of course not. this is my round about way of letting people know i'm moving into a cheaper, yet bigger house, with 2 friends from church - a blessing!

and also, to let people know my kitchen is mocking me.

i swear i just heard a chuckle from behind the fridge.

who was i kidding?

2010-11-08T16:52:00.000-05:00

i really thought i could get future posts done, the last time i posted. even though i posted just days before our next training group came. even though the internet was out at my house. i was optimistic. today i'll just say that this is a post for now and maybe eventually another one will follow. :-) how's that for honest!

life, following suit to this entire year, has be characterized by extremely hard circumstances combined with an overwhelming sense of peace from God. i hope that is what i am exhibiting to those around me. i have tried to testify to what God has done and sometimes it seems that i let myself get in the way, because, after all, little dramas make good stories - and i like to tell a good story!

like, did i tell you about how i fell over the gas pump two weeks ago?....

but even better, did i tell you how my God has constantly, over and over, provided for my needs, my hurts, and my fears. how He has seemingly hand crafted a Bible study for myself & the women who come to my house each week to meet our needs each and every week? how my entire viewpoint on worry seems to be changed forever because of a sermon and a week of opportunity after opportunity to not worry (i'm sure you can imagine what that means!). God is so good.

an old friend from jbc has been sharing in her blog, "growing more grateful" things she is thankful for everyday. i love it! so i'm going to share a few things now, a habit i want to form to testify how great God is!

i'm thankful for these women that i got to teach in SE Asia in September

i'm thankful for this delightful little boy. it's been almost 8 months since his momma left this world, but he is a testament to how good God truly is!

homeschooling is going well. right now, between my all the time family, my COAT training family and a family here for processing/debrief after their first term in Africa - I am working with 11 kids daily with school, processing and training! praise God for an amazing assistant in Brittney! praise God for cooler weather, so we can stretch outside when the room becomes a madhouse!

praise God for amazing friends - here in the mission, in Indiana, in my wonderful Church family - so many people to uplift me and share the joy of God in the midst of these hard times.
this walk would be so much harder alone. i'm thankful He never has left me alone.

life these days

2010-10-09T13:21:00.000-04:00

busy busy busy abby - that's what my sister-in-law called me yesterday in an email. i never think about how busy i am regularly, that is, until i talk to a neighbor that i haven't seen in weeks because i'm always coming and going, or until fridays.

fridays...sigh. i homeschool kids monday through thursday mornings and so friday is my "i don't have time for that now, i'll just do it on friday" catch up day at the end of every week. it always feels like i hit the ground running and don't stop the entire day. our next COAT group comes in next week, so prep is at a crazy high. aren't fridays supposed to be relaxed??

today i'm sitting at panera using their free wifi, trying to update my life and prepare for church tomorrow. i was asked to do the communion message for this week a while ago. the Lord has put something on my heart, now the task is not getting distracted in these final preparation moments. it's so easy to do. i have plants that need planted in front of my house, i have to pick up my new-to-me washing machine today, bake a dessert for tomorrow night, do the stacks of laundry that have been piling up since my old washer went kaput, take a table and chairs to a friend...and so it goes.

i want to write a long update about asia, but right now panera is filling up and i feel like i should give some sweet senior citizens my table. so i'll leave links to my friends' website - they have a podcast about my time in M and you can hear Maggie's thoughts briefly about her first days out of the country for the first time in her 16-year old life! also there is a short video clip of us petting actual white elephants! so cool. they are albinos and asia is where the whole "white elephant" gift tradition came from, as explained here. and to explain my face in the picture here, that is me masking fear with a smile. i know how strong elephants are - they are the most deadly animal in africa, did you know that!? i did not like turning my back to her to be able to smile for pictures. i thought they were lovely, i liked petting and feeding them, aaaaannndd, i was very very nervous. please don't hit me with your super strong trunk. please don't stomp me! but i made it out alive and we got to do that for free!

as soon as i get internet back at home, i will attempt to write more stories of the time in asia. God gave me some amazing opportunities to teach and serve. and He amazed me with His faithfulness in my travels.

pray for my time tomorrow speaking at church. i'm honored and excited to share, but also nervous. pray that my favorite nervousness word, "ummm" doesn't overtake me and i will speak only what God wants me to share - and clearly!

this...

2010-10-06T13:36:00.002-04:00

is what happens to your welcome mat when you never use your front door and you live in the jungle.

okay, i don't really live in "the jungle." but it feels like it. my house is surrounded by tropical trees and vegetation. and mosquitos. so i call it the jungle.

and it's home.

asia bound

2010-09-08T16:13:00.000-04:00

i'm going back!

tomorrow morning i leave my house at 4:15 am. from there i will travel for almost 2 full days (and nights!) to south east asia with maggie, the wonderful 16 year old daughter of friends.

i am so excited to head back to myanmar and go to cambodia for the first time. so excited to be with our workers there and encourage all of our M's in asia at our regional conference in cambodia. cannot wait to work with all of the M's kids at the conference - including meeting several of the kids for the first time, since they've been born since i saw their families last!

pray:
for the conference to be uplifting to all of our workers from the asia region.

for wisdom & rest for myself - so i can be an encouragement to all i encounter.

safety in travel - and sanity! i have a 19 hour flight there and a 23 hour flight back (each has a refuel stop, but no real layover). i'm honestly dreading these...please pray for me to rest in God's peace and that i actually get some sleep.

matt boden, my friend who's wonderful wife, kylee, died earlier this year is traveling to the asia conference as well, bringing his youngest two children with him. last year he and kylee, with 1.5 year old sarai, traveled to cambodia to see if it was a potential opportunity for their family. matt is returning to those they visited - most of his closest friends in the mission are in asia countries as well. he is going to help with the conference and to allow others the opportunity to grieve with him and get the chance to meet baby Caleb. he will be traveling with a 3 year old & 6 month old alone, so i'm sure he would appreciate prayers for the travel and the grieving process with our nationals & M's in asia.

that God will bless my time with Maggie! And for all the relationships I'll be renewing. That I will be willing to be used in any way and have my eyes open to God's working!

love you all - see you in 2.5 weeks!

internet Jesus and the search for answers

2010-09-04T00:15:00.000-04:00

“look at me. i need you to give me a verbal answer. looking away from me silently is not an answer. even if you don’t know, you still need to respond audibly.”

i found myself saying these words to one of my kids this week. homeschooling has started back up and all week i’ve noticed that when i ask Micah a question he didn’t know how to answer or thought that the answer wasn’t desirable – he would simply look away in silence. it was driving me batty. so by thursday i sat toe to toe with him and laid it out for him. i needed a response.

funny how God teaches us lessons. tonight my week with micah and my life group conversation came colliding. we were talking about the one question we would ask God if we could. most of us assumed that we would be in heaven to do this asking.

i mused why i, myself, pictured myself questioning God in heaven at the end of my life, rather than on earth, now.

i realized i wanted an audible answer.

i want the easy way. the quick direct answer from God, please.

you see, even with Micah, i can usually figure out what he’s thinking without him giving me an audible response – i just have to try harder. i have to watch his non-verbal cues. i have to know him. if i try, i can see when he’s frustrated, disappointed or mad. it just takes work.

it takes relationship.

so it goes with God. i want “internet God.” instant answers. instant help, when i want it.

i don’t want to ask God a question and then wait for an answer. i want it now! just like the bratty Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka, “don’t care how, i want it now!” i become a bad egg. i convince myself that i’m not made to wait for answers. i’ll pray and 6 seconds later i’m off, frustrated that God hasn’t spoken yet.

yet, there is no relationship in “internet Jesus.” relationships take work. and it’s beautiful when a friend “learns you.” when you understand them – like me understanding that Micah sometimes needs to be silent while I need to slow down my need for instant answers from him and just be around him – you get something far deeper and greater than you could imagine.

i want answers but i don't want to wait for them. even more so, i don't want to invest in the relationship with God, to understand who He is. i'm a child of my generation - microwave food, internet, iphones, atms. i live in a world that moves fast. i get antsy when the internet connection is slow or i can't text someone. yet i try to demand the same of God. God who took 9 months to painstakingly form me in my mother's womb.

God is more than worthy to be savored.

small things

2010-06-08T16:43:00.008-04:00

sometimes what i do feels small. very small. i see little differences. i hear little encouragements. yet it all seems purposeless in the grand scheme of things. i've helped a kid grow from reading 1-3 sentences to reading chapter books. helped a child come out of their shell. broken down walls in a little boy so that he welcomes things out of his comfort zone. helped a little girl learn how to spell her first words.

yet billions, yes billions, do not know Christ as their Savior. millions will go to bed hungry tonight. child prostitution around the world rages on. people are abused and rejected without hope. homes are destroyed by earthquakes, famines, floods.

and i sit in fort myers because God has not told me to "go." i teach because He has sent me these children to me. 6 kids now, from 2 different families.

and i try to wrap my mind around the diversity in my mind. the burden for the world mentally, yet so often my spirit is unwilling. because deep down - this is what i want:

to be a wife and mother. and do it as well as i possibly can. no matter where i am.

and i don't see how that meshes with solving all the world's problems and it's deep need for Christ either.

maybe i'm made for the small things. maybe i'll never end up in any history books. maybe i'll never be famous (and i admit it, most of my life i've wanted that - drama queen that i am).

maybe i'm made for the small things. and the question is, will i do them well? or will i sit and stew because they feel small? will i worry that i'm not important, while forgetting that the truth is that i'm actually not important, but the God of all creation is?

maybe it's okay to feel small.

God is so good to me

2010-05-21T16:54:00.000-04:00

it's been a crazy week. how many of us can say that most weeks?

one week ago at this time i was sitting at my desk crying because i had the rude realization that i had absolutely no credit, meaning that there are so many things that i can't do without credit. i felt so embarrassed that i got to almost 27 before i realized how important establishing credit was.

and then i went home and made cupcakes for my friend's birthday party that night - which ended up also ended up being a surprise early birthday party for me!

a few days ago i was driving to my friends' house to babysit for their kids when wham - a truck slammed into the back corner of my car. turns out the truck was trying to make a left turn across 3 lanes of traffic behind me while i was stopped at a red light. a car coming in the far lane couldn't see the truck coming and they slammed into each other and as a by product, into me.

within a minute, 2 couples from NMSI, the Steiners & the Kuests, on their way home saw me and pulled over to stand with me, calm me, hug me, and help me figure out information to take down and talk to the police. i walked towards one of the cars and noted how both cars were leaking fluids and were badly smashed. i looked at Bob (who i call Papa Bob) and remarked, "I have so much to be thankful for." No one was hurt, I didn't go into shock, and my car was barely scathed. God's hand was on me!

last night after a great evening with my friends, i put my hand in my purse to check for my house keys and had the sudden memory of tossing my keys to my purse earlier that night at my house and missing my purse. at the time i thought, "i better not forget to pick those up (and then promptly forgot). all i could do was look at my friends sheepishly and tell them, at midnight, that i had locked myself out of my house!

my wonderful friend elisha offered to follow me home and see if she could help. we found an unlocked window that we pried open and she could shimmy into and get to the door (no small feat, these are crank windows, not exactly spacious. i told her i would never again begrudge her for being so much skinnier than i am - because God provides! and it was a great laugh. (i wish i could show you all the pictures, but i promised her i wouldn't). :-)

and today i held beautiful newborn Madelyn at the hospital, daughter of my friends, the Fosters. an adorable reminder that life keeps going on.

and my church increased my support without me even having to ask - what an answer to prayer!!

and the showtunes that my pandora station has been playing all afternoon are wonderful and i keep singing along for my poor office-mate.

God is so good to me.

mi casa

2010-05-18T15:26:00.000-04:00

i'm all moved in, more or less. things are still a mess and i'm waiting on an entertainment center to get delivered from friends before i start hanging things on the wall - but, i'm in. and it is slowly but surely feeling (and smelling!) like home.

oh smell. that was my one big hiccup moving in. when i toured the house it smelled, well, like nothing, because i didn't notice a thing. but somewhere along the lines before the other girl moved out and i moved in, she had guests over who smoked in the driveway with the house door open. and in a house this small, the smell went everywhere. smoke is one of my highest allergens and she tried to negate it with 8 glade plug-ins. again, tiny house, way too much scent.

so i have thrown all the glades out, and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. and it's starting to smell like home for me. slightly lavender and slightly of baked goods. all is well.

living room (back door to small covered deck & washer/dryer)

close up on thrift store lamp & garage sale sewing cabinet - lamp is new, sewing cabinet has been around a while, aren't they great!

standing on the other side of the living room facing the front door. kitchen is to the left. isn't the "library chair" a hoot!? as with the other furniture, they are all loans from friends. it may not be my first pick in chairs, but it sure is comfy.

looking into the kitchen standing by the "library chair." the eat-in counter wraps around. it's a teeny kitchen, but has a surprising amount of counter space.

looking directly into the kitchen. notice the little pass-through window that looks into what could be a dining room, but i'm using as a guest room/sitting room.

close-up of the pass through window and my canisters.

bathroom shower curtain. i love the bathroom, both it and the kitchen have gorgeous stone work done in them by the owner's father.

pass through window from the sitting room. this room is almost all windows and gets tons of light. it might be my favorite. it has a double bed that i'm going to use for guests or as a nice big couch. someday soon i'll have a comforter to go with the pretty green metal tree that will be hung on the wall soon.

my bedroom. gorgeous bedroom suite left by the previous tenant. it's queen sized and right now has a double bed in it. i'm hoping to someday have a queen mattress for it, but right now i am feeling so blessed by such a beautiful (free!) bed that i can wait for God to provide a mattress set that actually fits it. there is a mirrored dresser that matches as well.

well, there's the house! it's hard to tell, but there is a chair rail that goes all around the bedroom and living room. the living room is two colors (darker on bottom) and the bedroom is all one, which i would love to change, but i'll have to talk to my landlords (the wife is the CFO of NMSI) about that. it's a cozy little cottage.

come visit me!

la vie est belle

2010-04-20T15:07:00.000-04:00

it's funny, most people try to do something special for their "100th post" on their blogs. i happened to notice that my last post was my hundredth. i suppose it is fitting that i remembered an amazing friend in my 100th post, though it definitely wasn't any of the fun ideas i had toyed with a year ago when i thought of doing that post. but life often necessitates different options. my former housemate ashleigh, just wrote her 100th post, from her life in Kenya. it's a fun read from the mission field.

the past month i have felt like a failure in communication. i have sat down many times to update my blog and then had no words, or rather, too many words to express all i was feeling.

i have started to pick up the phone, then set it down, because there was no way to speak.

started messages or emails, and then erased them, because i couldn't settle on what to say.

i thought of pictures i could share from my housemate, Kristy's wedding. i was both bridesmaid and the cake maker, but alas, we did not pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets, so i took nary a picture. i will post some soon when i can get some good pics from friends. it was a truly beautiful day and a bright spot in a hard month of life.

i thought about sharing about the night last week when a cheese grater made me cry in Publix. that's right, a cheese grater. the kind like they have at olive garden. you see, kylee boden had that grater and every time i used it at her house we would talk about how great it was and how i needed to buy one. so by the time i had reached the household cleaners isle, i was sobbing. and i reached for a sale priced cleaner to smell it (it didn't smell good) and as i screwed the lid back on, the spray nozzle shattered in my hand. in shock from my display of apparent brute strength, i burst out laughing. as Truvy on Steel Magnolias states, "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

so i continue on. all who are left here in this life continue on. waiting for our true home in Heaven (the link is what Kylee Boden herself wrote about being hungry for heaven). this week in Bible with my homeschoolers, we are devoting the whole week to Heaven and the beautiful parables about the kingdom of Heaven, such a deep reassurance of Christ at work in us already.

Exciting notes: i'm starting a unit on shakespeare with my homeschoolers. they are preschool - 4th grade age and they are pumped. we're turning an entire wall into the story of romeo & juliet.

at the same time i'm planning on teaching them fundamentals of drama and speech, helping them become better speakers and listeners. i'm already having so much fun with this. their mom and i talked about how we learned to hate shakespeare in high school because it was so confusing, but the stories were actually beautiful. we're excited to see how the kid's respond to shakespeare at their level. so far, so good.

also, i'm moving out! after a lot of prayer, i've realized that God doesn't seem to be done with me here yet. i'm still determining what it is that He has for me, but i do have a definite peace about not having peace about going overseas yet. since i have been getting deeply more invested at my church here and a wanting to be a little more settled if i'm going to be here for at least the next year, i decided to ask one of the women in the mission if her rental properties might be available in the future. as i'm sure God knew, her tenant across the street from her house was moving out may 5th and she would love to rent to me. i prayed about it and visited the house and said yes. in a few weeks i'm moving to my own little cottage! it is an adorable one (and a half) bedroom house right across the street from two families in the mission. i'm pumped about the opportunities to host and care for people from my home. i'll only be a 12 minute drive from the mission and within walking/biking distance from most of the families in the mission.
already i have been blown away by people offering furnishings and i know God will continue to provide for me. i can't wait to share pictures soon.

lastly, i leave a few pictures of the boden family with beautiful baby caleb, taken a few weeks ago.

la vie est belle. life is beautiful.

2.5 year old Sarai, baby Caleb, 5 year old Seth

Daddy Matt with 5 year old Lydia & baby Caleb

loss

2010-03-18T10:34:00.001-04:00

yesterday i lost one of my closest and dearest friends. she was perhaps the best wife and mom i have ever met, loved people deeply, cried freely with and for others. i'm having a hard time at this moment even believing this reality, even though i have spent most of the past 15 hours in tears. Kylee died yesterday from eclampsia, leaving behind her husband Matt (of who she was his biggest fan and adored him in beautiful depths), children Seth, Lydia, and Sarai (who she loved to gather in her arms and tell them, "ohhh, i just love you so much!") and tiny infant Caleb, who she never got the chance to meet.

i am overwhelmed with sorrow. i know where she is. she is dancing and singing for the King of Kings, just like she was created to do and loved doing here on earth. she had such a deep hope in heaven, a delight in Jesus. she is going to be so deeply missed. our loss is immense. but it is not the end. she's getting the party started, i'll see her in heaven again. i can't wait for that hug.

please pray friends. while our hope is in heaven, this hurts so deeply.

i want to put this on here because this brings me joy. Kylee dancing and air guitaring to "God will lift up your head." She had given me that song to listen to when I was struggling and in a hard place. I can't think of anything more fitting.

yummy pie & an adorable friend

2010-02-25T14:30:00.000-05:00

last night i made an cheddar crust apple pie because...well, i needed to bake. i made a pie like this when i was about 9 years old for 4-H, losing highest honors to somebody's cherry pie (that had boiled over!!). no i'm not bitter about that thank you, but i have always been sad that i promptly lost the recipe and never was able to make that yummy goodness again.

so i tried again and if my housemates give it a thumbs up at family dinner tonight i'll post pics and the recipe. i'm excited about the dinner that will precede the pie too, lemon chicken with sweet pea tortellini that i got out of my most recent rachael ray magazine. mmmmm...

now, while this may lower my chances at getting something fun, i do want to share about my friend rachel's giveaway.

because who can resist sharing a friend this adorable with the world?

i dream that someday when we are 50 or 60 we will open a bakery together. we will change the world one cupcake with a sprinkle of Jesus' love at a time. can you see it? rachel, have i told you this before? are you in?

so head over here to visit her giveaway. all you have to do is tell her a dream or something you're thankful for...and who couldn't use a reminder of God's goodness in the middle of the work week?

pray for Gigi

2010-02-22T17:11:00.000-05:00

my niece, Gianna, had pneumonia recently. her lung hasn't drained properly during her recovery, so tomorrow (tuesday) morning at 11 am she is having a surgery to insert tubes to drain her lung. she'll probably be in the hospital for about a week for recovery. please pray for a complete and speedy recovery for her. also for endurance and peace for my brother & sis-in-law, Ashley Wade & Jen. I'm sure they are worn out considering how long this illness has been, Gigi's earlier hospital stay from the pneumonia and caring for Gigi's baby brother, Dominic.

aunt abby wants her baby girl back to playing and having fun!

who woke up with her cranky pants on??

2010-02-16T17:06:00.000-05:00

i woke up this morning Cranky. yes, cranky with a capital c. i can't say that i even woke up that way, because i'm not sure i even slept all that much last night. instead of thankfulness that i had an extra day off for the weekend yesterday (thanks President's for the day) i was cranky that it was over. i didn't want to get up and ended up running way behind all morning.

and yet God is gracious to me. even with my crummy bad attitude. even when i feel like i'm about to fall over tired.

first off, jennie called and said that a family friend had stopped by and the kid's wouldn't be over for school for an extra half hour. exactly the time i needed to finish getting ready for them.

(wait, back up a second, Abigail - have you told anyone yet that you are homeschooling full-part-time this semester? nope?! that's what i thought.) ahem. i'm homeschooling 4 of my former coat kids this semester while their family gets settled into the community here in fort myers and their mom does homeschooling for 4 of the older siblings. so every morning i am trying my best to pack a full day of school into the lives of a preschooler, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders! and it looks like this:

okay, not exactly like this. although the cribs have become their favorite spot for silent reading.

it actually looks more like this, only with less workbooks now - this picture is from during their time with me in COAT when we were doing bare minimum homeschool. now we are doing all out projects and lessons. tiring and so rewarding.

anyways, back to ungrateful cranky-pants morning.

the key to it all is in that sentence. ungrateful. here comes the confession - it's good for the soul, right? just yesterday i cried to my housemate as i told her i realized i had been basically spitting in God's face. i've prayed for a family of my own and He's told me to look at the family He's given me in my house and i've been telling Him it wasn't good enough. i've prayed for children and He's shown me all the kids that are in my life and i've been telling Him it wasn't good enough.

how ungrateful i've been! how untrusting of my Abba Father!

i think that's why it didn't take me so long today to realize the source of my crankiness. and God opened my eyes. and so many have blessed me today! 3 people in the past 24 hours have out of nowhere (well 2 out of 3) told me how much they see God working in me and also how excited they are for me to someday be married and what that will be like for me. oh how that spoke to my weary heart. because i don't see those things. and i think a girl can start to wonder if they have a giant "gift of celibacy" tattoo on their forehead that she can't see - and to hear others dream for me and to see something good in me - all i can say is that God is overwhelmingly good to me. i am so thankful that He continues to work in me even when i'm stubborn, sleepy, and capital c - Cranky.

God's painting

2010-02-02T16:36:00.001-05:00

though not intentional, i seem to have taken a nice long break from blogging. surprisingly, i have not missed it. yet, i shall try to return.

i was just walking back upstairs into our office building. (NMSI's offices are the entire second floor of an office building and one large suite downstairs. we are able to rent out the other downstairs suites to various places, including a coffee/ten thousand villages shop, a hearing clinic, a church and others.) i took the stairs, since it's better for me and i can avoid our terrifying elevator. both of our stairwells have a large picture window high up on the second story. one of these windows is blocked by a tree, but the other one faces south towards the beautiful open sky.

i love looking through this window. the "picture" changes every time. sometimes it is clear crystal blue. other times it has pretty wispy clouds or dark, powerful clouds. other times the picture is deep blue and full of stars. i know that all i have to do is step outside and i can take in the view of the sky as a whole. but outside also comes with trees and power lines and traffic. inside the stairwell, i get a quiet beautiful glimpse of something glorious. a painting created by the most amazing creator.

and God knows that i'm limited. that sometime He must give me His glory in small, yet gorgeous bites. it's why He "never gives us more than we can handle." and somehow, looking through the picture window, i get a daily dose of how good God is and how much He cares for me to paint such a beautiful blue canvas for me to enjoy.

the three-legged, peg-legged sheep

2009-12-17T10:52:00.003-05:00

a long time ago i used to sit at my grandparent's house at christmastime, completely entranced by grandma's nativity. to be honest i think i have always had a love of nativities, relishing in the role of setting up my families and having my own tiny glow-in-the-dark set by my bed year round. it was like playing with dolls with the added awe of being close to something holy. through the years i have collected quite a few nativities of my own. i'm even trying to win a new one from this blog this week.

this beauty in my living room

this one on my tree

this one i found in Myanmar this year

and this one, that was my grandma's too, just not the one from grandma's.

back to grandma's house. her nativity was old. and chipped. and fragile. and she let me play with it whenever i wanted. i'm sure she accepted the fact that with 17 grandchildren and, at the time, over 30 great-grandchildren (i was the youngest of the grandchildren, but the great-grands were the ones my age) her things were just going to be played with. oh, i was ever so careful with them, but i was a child, so chips and dings happened. there was just something so special about her little cardboard stable and holy family.

a few years later, that nativity was given to me. and i cherish it.

torn stable. only two wisemen and a mismatched set to say the least. i borrowed the camel and donkey from the brown set from earlier to fill out the stable. the shepherd, maybe he's another set's joseph, but here he is an unpainted shepherd. and then little mary & joseph, bowing, in awe of baby Jesus in his cotton lined stall.

and yet my favorite part of this nativity? the three-legged, peg-legged sheep. i know there are no stories about him in the Bible. but he's a very important part of my christmas. if you look closely you'll see him there at the feet of Jesus.

he would have been thrown out years ago by any sensible person. he's missing one leg. the other is only a wire. another leg is badly cracked. he's chipped and he's ugly but he has become more dear to me in every passing year.

it dawned on me a few years back. i am the three-legged, peg-legged sheep! broken, cracked and ugly i dare throw myself at the feet of Jesus. and i welcomed in to worship. if you notice the other two sheep, they are proud looking, heads up or turned away. but this sheep's head is bowed. i'm sure the original maker intended this sheep to be eating grass and that's why his head is low. but i see a broken, hurting sheep bowed before a Savior. One who will bring him ultimate healing.

so every christmas i'm reminded by the three-legged, peg-legged sheep how deeply loved i am by God that He would send His Son to the world, to help broken, awkward and ugly sheep like myself. and how welcome i always am at His feet.

Merry Christmas Friends

calm christmas

2009-12-09T13:31:00.000-05:00

my new background was entitled "calm christmas." i couldn't think of anything i would want more. i'm trying to sit here calmly for a few moments, not thinking about the 2 pies i need to make tonight or all the errands i need to run for the children's celebration tomorrow. i'm taking a few minutes to slowly eat my blueberries and not think about how we are going to get the pinatas made in time or what games i can come up with at the last minute for tomorrow.

i'm not thinking about my surgery on friday and how i'm going to be healing still on christmas day. i'm not thinking about how i'm going to have to tell my nieces and nephews that i can't play around with them like normal because i have to protect my nose and i will even have to be careful about which way i hold them on my lap.

no, i'm thinking about calm this christmas, just for a few minutes until...

wait...

never mind.

i can hear the children coming.

time to go back to my happy flurry of activity.

it was fun while it lasted, right??

wordless wednesday

2009-11-25T14:45:00.000-05:00

we've got dinner on the brain

almost wordless wednesday

2009-11-18T21:08:00.002-05:00

a few pictures of late:

wonder kitchen woman - "the fate of dinner lies in her hands"

silly times in COAT kids

and this beautiful sweetness is my newest nephew - i'm in love. that adorable little faux hawk is 100% natural! 7 more days till i get to hold him!

"it's a morton salt day, God"

2009-11-10T17:20:00.001-05:00

that's what i found myself praying just a few minutes ago. oh i could write tale after tale of how wonderful these kids are and how good it has been going.

but today is a morton salt day. my momma used to collect morton salt collectables and still has a few. morton's picture was always of an adorable little girl under an umbrella holding a spilling container of salt. their slogan? "when it rains, it pours." now, while it's been cloudy all day, there has been no actual rain. but oh how it's poured.

my kids are getting to the point where they are realizing that this move is permanent, they have to do their homeschooling with me instead of mom, and the novelty has just plum wore off. one of the kids is showing anger that they have never really shown before. one bursts into tears at the least little thing.

and in my house, there seems to be sorrow after sorrow as well. roommates deeply hurting. roommates believing satan's lies.

so i feel a good bit helpless in both cases. i want to cry, but don't know whose shoulder wouldn't break under the weight of one more thing.

so as i was walking today, i just prayed, "it's a morton salt day, God." He knew what i meant. and He's here. He'll be present as i scramble to get dinner on the table for my housemates for our "family" dinner. He'll be there as i process and plan for tomorrow, hoping for a better day, but finding a way to trust if it isn't.

pray for my hurting kids. pray for my hurting roommates. pray for me, please. pray for stuff that i don't even know how to articulate. we're having some morton salt days - and i could use the strength from your prayers to help myself and others remember that Jesus is here, scooping up the mess of salt and rain that are falling down.

wordless wednesday

2009-10-28T10:00:00.001-04:00

a taste of fall up north

2009-10-26T21:56:00.000-04:00

i went up to atlanta two weeks ago for the catalyst conference. in a word, it was awesome. i got an amazing reassurance of my ministry. it became so clear that i have been judging myself for not having this stellar, rock-star perfect ministry by now. instead, the past few years have had many struggles, pitfalls and setbacks. yet, i was so reassured that i'm being grown and molded by God in His perfect timing and ministries take time to build. i'm still so young! society tells me that i have to have it all together and be climbing whatever ladder is before me right now, but God tells me to rest in His grace and trust His timing in my life in everything. and oh, what amazing things He can do in the things i think are struggles, pitfalls and setbacks. that's when i have to throw up my hands and say You're right God, i'm not in control, i can't do this, it's all You. and how HE MOVES!!

after that i spent the weekend with the lovely binkleys! i got to see emilee and kelsey - and had lots of hanging out girl time with Nina! too bad bethany and mary were out of town!

the awesome oreo chocolate cream cake kels and i made for her husband travis's birthday!

then i headed on up to knoxville

i wanted to spend some time with my best friend, kristen, her husband cameron and baby Jenna - well 2 year old baby. :-) i figured i could plan for COAT kids just as easily from her house and the JBC teacher ed resource center as i could from home, so off i went. kristen and her husband just lost a baby and kristen has beautifully written about her experience and God's faithfulness here. i have been so encouraged by their faithfulness and trust in God.

trying to get a picture of jenna, kris and i proved to be tricky.

very tricky

but i did get one of a sleepy jenna & me

sweetness.

all in all a great trip up north. didn't see everyone i wanted to see but i had amazing quality time with kristen, which was totally worth it.

coming, i almost promise that it will be this week, pictures of my first week of coat kids with my family with 10 kids and my family with 2. i'm homeschooling 6 kids daily! it's crazy wonderfulness.

in between quilts

2009-10-05T16:19:00.000-04:00

i have to keep busy. the same baby shower that i made the green cupcakes for, i made these.

are you there God? it's me, Abigail. it's 3:30 a.m. and yup, i'm still awake

2009-10-01T13:31:00.004-04:00

i chose a new background. again. i seem to be on a quest for constant redesign, yet no new blog entries.

this background seems fitting. crumpled up paper. that seems to be where all my blog ideas go lately. down in the bottom of my purse on sticky notes stuck on my journal, yet not written in. short disconnected thoughts. my whole self scattered on bedside tables, in purses and somewhere between my two offices. and in the kitchen. i always have things in the kitchen.

to say my insomnia has been bad of late would be a massive understatement. it's horrendous. the not sleeping i could handle if i could still remember things in the daytime. if i could still function enough to work.

instead i have bursts of energy, short sweet bursts, and then i proceed to sit and stare - or worse i get up to do something and then stand in the middle of a hallway or mid-sentence, completely blank. then i start all over again.

but i'm thankful. right now i don't have any COAT kids. so while the next COAT is right around the corner and planning time is at a premium - i'm thanking God that i can go home and take the occasional mid-morning, i-can't-function-anymore, who-am-i-again, power nap to get me through.

so until then, my 'brilliant' journal scribbles will have to wait in their crumpled holding spot in the bottom of my purse - while i continue to get by on my sweet tea and a dream (now if that's not a book title, i don't know what is.)

bind up the broken hearted girls

2009-09-22T16:26:00.004-04:00

a few weeks ago my friend megan sent me this quote from the book, The Papa Prayer that I've had on my shelf since october, but have yet to open.

"Women yearn for beauty, for an internal reality that makes eternal impact by drawing others to cherish and honor and protect what they see, by awakening in others their desire for ultimate beauty. Nothing terrifies a woman more than to feel that there is nothing unique about her being that another could esteem or treasure."

now of course my initial reaction to this came from my semi-sorta-feminist thinking that says i am strong and can do anything, roooaaar! then about two seconds later a deeper part of me realized...it's true. in the deepest core of me, it's true.

and i thought about my friend's matt and kylee who were at that very time in cambodia, seeing if they might possibly move there. they were spending time at Rapha House, a place that rescues girls out of the sex trade and brings them hope, healing, and trains them in new trades. those girls, of all ages, have been on my heart so much lately. my heart breaks for them and i wonder what i could do for them. i think of my friend corey, who is actually there full-time - teaching the girls trades.

i think of the hurt and i wonder what can i offer? how do you let these girls know they are worth being esteemed and treasured. that they are esteemable and treasurable.

just a few days ago i was driving down my street. our office and houses are in the "rough" part of town. there is a lot of life here. kid's playing basketball in the street, families sitting outside talking to their neighbors - things you don't see in the suburbs as much anymore.

and there are things that break my heart too. the thing that may make me the saddest is the prostitution. it is such a mix of anger, sadness and helplessness every time i see a girl or a 'pickup.' i call the police but wonder if it even makes a dent.

so the other day i drove and saw a girl walking down the street. i knew by her walk and that ever so slight slump in her shoulders that she was a prostitute. i knew by the downcast look she had that got masked every time a car drove past, turning it into a look that i don't know how to describe other than "pick me." as i drove i saw a police car coming down my street, slowing towards her. i slowed to let him pass, thinking that he would do something, stop her, maybe this could be the wake up call she needs. she stopped and leaned into his car and i saw him smile. i couldn't help thinking it was odd. then i saw her get in and in my dismay as i looked through my rearview mirror, i realized that it was a taxi driver, not a police man. i burned, i cried, i wanted to whip my car around and blare on my horn and stop what i knew was happening. but they were gone. they whipped out so fast. i was brokenhearted that i had slowed down. that i had helped him stop. all i could think was, "Lord, what can I do?"

and i don't have the answers. i don't have them when new missionaries come and live with me broken from their pasts. i don't have answers when missionaries come off the field broken from how hard it is.

Christ quoted this Isaiah passage:

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

i can't help but wonder what my role in all of this is. i know i don't have the answers. i can only pray to be faithful to the One who is. to show them that God finds them esteemable and treasurable.

pray that i can be faithful to the girls in the next training group that comes. that i will care deeply for the children that come, 10 in all - 8 of which are girls. (pray for their two brothers as well!) pray for my housemates, that we would love each other and spur one another on to love and good deeds. pray for my friends, that i can rejoice with them in their joys and weep with them in their sorrows. and pray that i will have the wisdom to reach out in my neighborhood and around the world at the opportunities God gives me to do so.

adventures in cupcakes

2009-09-17T13:46:00.003-04:00

a few weeks ago was my roommate, Bri's birthday. she loves the combination of raspberries and chocolate - so i put on my thinking cap and whipped up chocolate cupcakes with pureed red raspberries in the center and then used the juice drained off of frozen raspberries as the liquid in a buttercream frosting - topped with a fresh raspberry. Voila, cupcake wonderfulness.

and for the baby shower? that was today over lunch. i made plain old yellow cupcakes, but filled them with sweetened cream, frosted with a pale green buttercream, topped with a tart (gigantic!) blackberry and sprinkled with a dusting of green sugar. mmm...

excuse me now, while i go brush my teeth a few thousand times.

baby cakes

2009-09-14T18:53:00.002-04:00

okay my dear baking friends - i've been asked to (okay, lets be honest, i begged to) make the cupcakes for a baby shower on thursday. i want the cupcakes to be fabulous - so does anyone have any ideas for flavors or decoration for this beautiful baby boy and his wonderful family??

giveaway

2009-09-03T16:52:00.002-04:00

A sewing blog is giving away fabrics so I had to post it so I could have 10 more chances to win beautiful fabrics! Sorry for those of you who don't care about sewing, but I saw this on Emilee's blog and I couldn't resist getting my name in the hat as well.

final indiana update - number 3

2009-08-26T20:19:00.003-04:00

when i was in indiana i got to go to the theater twice! if you know me well, you know that this is one of the more exciting things in my life. i love theater. the first time was at beef & boards with a group from my home church. it was a riot. the second time was at the red barn theater. i've added a few pictures, because just as the name suggests - this theater is in fact in a barn in the middle of the country. it is definitely one of the coolest places i know to see live shows.

towards the end of my time i had an event for my supporters who lived near burlington. it was a "dessert" thank you party. we had some non-sweets as well, but mostly it gave me a chance to thank people and bake, bake, bake! rachel and mom gave me a ton of help with the food prep and it was a blast. here's some of the yummy-ness.

white chocolate spice cake bites

red velvet cake bites

lemon berry puffs

white chocolate hazelnut tarts

salad tartlets

chocolate marshmallow brownies

the spread

genesis 29

2009-08-23T22:44:00.004-04:00

i have always been drawn to the story of leah and rachel. as a child i remember being stunned at the nerve of laban, cheating jacob from his "princess." i, being a child under the influence of disney princessdom and being the best friend of a rachel, always sided with rachel - as if, somehow, i believed that leah deserved her fate as the "ugly sister." because, after all, shouldn't beautiful rachel get everything? she was the one that jacob desired. he never asked for weak eyed leah.

and then as i got older, my heart broke a little for leah. poor leah, played like a pawn by her father. unloved by her husband. yet i always skipped forward into the story where she and rachel got petty in their child bearing turf war.

tonight, though, i noticed a nugget. a little gem in the story of leah. something from before babies started flying out from every corner of the household from every woman in the household.

leah had four sons, right in a row. the first three she names respectively - he has seen my misery (or see, a son), he hears, and attached. each son she responds with the hope that her husband will now love her for each son she provides him. she hopes in what she cannot change.

but then her fourth. she named him praise. Judah. she said quite simply, "this time i will praise the Lord." for all the times later that she didn't get it, for this moment - leah got it. somewhere she learned that her hope was in the Lord. that she couldn't change her circumstances, she couldn't make her husband love her and her sons would never fill that void, but she could praise the Lord. because the Lord saw her.

how many paths do i try to take - my reubens, simeons, and levis - trying to make my own happiness happen? instead let me find real joy in Judah - in praise. let me wake up each morning saying the words of leah, "this time i will praise the Lord." let me face each trial saying, "this time i will praise the Lord." and let me face each joy saying, "this time i will praise the Lord."

indiana trip part 2

2009-08-21T10:21:00.002-04:00

one of the main purposes of my trip was to do a vbs at one of my main supporting churches - main street christian church in russiaville. i had a blast with the kids, teaching them about what i do and about kid's just like them in missionary families all over the world. all the nervousness i would have the night before left as soon as the kids entered the room. i will say though, that it probably was a measure of nervous energy and cherry coke that got me through the rapid pace of vbs.

my classroom set up and empty

my classroom with me in it

my classroom full of the "almost kindergarteners" group - i had pre-k through 6th graders every day, 20 minutes for each age group. it was very busy and very fun.

i got to speak at the church the sunday following the vbs - i rushed through my 5 minutes very nervously because all i could think of was the fact that i was speaking during the sunday school hour for 45 minutes. i had never had a 45 minute slot to share before - so i was nervous! yet, somewhere in the midst of my sharing in that sunday school, God stepped in and peace came over me. i had one of those beautiful moments where i felt like God was teaching even me as i shared. i was in awe of what He had been doing in my life in ways that i hadn't thought of before. it's a weird thing to have new things revealed to you as you are the one doing the speaking - so i can only say it was a God thing. pretty cool, huh?

all the other kiddos

2009-08-20T15:16:00.003-04:00

or, my time in indiana part 1.

i decided, based on the length of time since my last update and how much went on during my time, this would be a multi-parter. i will do my best to make it not mind-numbingly boring by using lots of pictures. :-)

aunt abby & sydney

sweet sydney who turned 12 yesterday!

nicholas with his twister game face and attempt of a smile through the pain of the game.

sweet ethan played the spinner.

ethan giving a sweet grin.

ethan lending cousin gigi a hand at king's island.

though not technically their aunt, my cousin justin's kids are niece and nephew in my heart. handsome aidan and little lily.

lily giving my hat a try.

making up for the months of january through august that i missed of her life.

they love each other to bits!

niece lily and another little one who calls me aunt abby - my friend kaleena's adorable little girl mckynzye!

i love love love these kids!!

niece Gigi

2009-07-29T14:04:00.002-04:00

got to reacquaint myself with my niece yesterday. she hasn't seen me since christmas and at 3 she was a little wary of me at the beginning - a first for her and i. usually she warms up pretty instantly to me. but after a bit of time we were having a blast.

i got to chase her around with my new-to-me DSLR camera. usually she balks at having her picture taken and won't smile, but we made it a game and i just kept my finger on the button and i think i got some cuteness!!

isn't she a doll!?

she's always on the move.

now i just have to see sydney, nicholas, ethan, aidan and lillian. love these nieces and nephews!

slept in heaven

2009-07-22T11:35:00.003-04:00

today my friend sarah and i went to the mall's chick fil-a for our weekly chicken biscuit brunch and mutual processing session. both of us have had a lot to digest lately in our ministry and personal lives. it's been a great little half hour escape once a week that often helps me focus in everything else.

now, because of our frequency to this chick fil-a, they really know us there. several of the workers know our exact orders. (in fact last week my friend megan went to pick me up lunch because i had a meeting run late and when she told them my order it the worker laughed and said "that's not for you is it? it's for your friend with blonde hair, right?" so funny...and a little embarrassing!)

today one of the workers commented to me, "i wish every customer was like you guys. you just look like you slept in Heaven. you always smile and are so nice. so many people come in and are grumpy and rude to us." i thought at the irony of someone commenting that i looked like i had slept in Heaven - me, the girl who never sleeps through the night. yet i do feel at peace. so while i didn't sleep in Heaven last night, i can always sleep with the hope of heaven and know that's God's love and joy is mine to share with others. sarah and i felt humbled by this and determined to make a greater effort to love and get to know our chick fil-a workers. so when we got our customary cherry coke refills we introduced ourselves by name and learned his name (jared). it's a small step to loving my neighbors in this city better. and i pray that they will see Heaven in my countenance more often.

a whole "herd" of us at cow appreciation day on the 10th. jared is in the background behind the counter.

today

2009-07-20T09:51:00.003-04:00

sometimes i wait to post because i want something profound to say. so i post when i have some random burst of inspiration.

that doesn't seem to happen to often.

other times God is teaching me lessons, but i just don't know how to share them.

and still other times i want to share wonderful house-y type tips like my stay-at-home mom friends, but the past month hasn't been spent doing those things. and the reality is that isn't the crux of my daytime.

i've had an wonderful summer with friends. many of them new. and most of them are now gone. i am thankful and heavy hearted all at the same time.

today i am thankful that God keeps bringing me more wonderful friends since i live in a world where friends are always leaving to go extraordinarily far away.

today i am thankful for the flowers on my desk - bought from kate at the farmer's market. the color of them takes my breath away every time i look up. good job God.

today i am thankful for friends who love truth.

today i am thankful for supporters who encourage me and help me all along this crazy walk i'm on.

today i'm thankful for the baby who knows my name and waits for my car to pull into the drive with a huge smile on her face.

today my heart is heavy with all those i'm missing and thankful for all i've got.

this makes me feel like i'm in a band

2009-07-11T21:07:00.001-04:00

and i love it

me & my roommates sarah and kristy

things i've been making lately

2009-07-07T13:44:00.004-04:00

watermelon juice...yummy. don't be deceived by the spoon, i totally used my hands to smoosh the melon through the strainer.

i made two of these handsome little guys for friends' babies.

i cannot get over how cute his little tail is! you can't see it but he also has a little spikey mane going all down the back of his head.

okay, so technically i didn't make this - but i did get a new haircut! praise Jesus for Great Clips' yearly $5.99 haircut sale!

this one is guido the frog. he's a handsome little guy too. right now he greets all of us housemates when we walk upstairs, but his future home is with my future nephew - my roommates have joked that i'll have crocheted a whole zoo for the newest alter baby by christmas - we'll see.

using the leftover persimmon colored yarn from the giraffe i made myself a little hat!

(not a terribly attractive picture of me or my housemate, but it shows the hat's color)

and of course, another new cake, this one was a mocha chocolate something cake for my friend megan's birthday. i can't remember the name. it was coffee flavored so i didn't touch a bite, but i heard it was yummy.

discouragement

2009-07-07T09:55:00.002-04:00

just jumped a really big hurdle for myself this morning. something that has taken me years to get up the courage to do. (vague, i know, but believe me, it's for the best). immediately after i got a bit of discouragement. questioning why i would do what i did. was it the best time? i knew it was long overdue and after a few minutes of hurting and frustration i realized - maybe this bit of discouragement is so i will trust God more.

and i have to tell you, the fact that i was even able to come to that thought after a year of not being able to see God in so much of my day to day life - got me butterflies in my stomach giddy. and the peace that came with it wasn't too bad either.

sorry to leave everyone hanging

2009-06-16T18:54:00.003-04:00

so i went to the life group. (see post below) and i cried most of the way home.

while i was there it was fine. they were nice people and it wasn't hard to be social. and it felt like youth group. in fact there were 2 kids from the youth group there - kid's of the leaders. there were two guys who seemed closer to my age and might have some commonalities, but the guys left to go fishing ten minutes after i got there. which left me with young women and shallow conversation. it felt so empty.

the one person i really felt drawn to was the leader - who has kid's my age. not at all surprising.

all the way home i cried to God about how lonely i felt. how i know i am called to trust Him but sometimes it's so hard. if i were in the secular world being 26 and single is normal. but in Christian circles, at least all the ones i know, it's not. so it can be lonely.

so i am attempting to take another painful, scared, yet beautiful step towards trusting God more.

fear

2009-06-12T17:15:00.002-04:00

i just broke down into tears at the thought of going to a new small group tonight from my church. i was trying to explain to friends in the office about how i did not want to go. it's the "young adults" aka "singles" group that has been meeting together, most of them for years.

and i'm terrified.

i'll be the oldest one there. and while my face says, "hi, i'm 15," as one friend recently put it - i was born older. i feel at home with my friends who are married and have families - not only because they are my age, but in many ways i relate to them. but the truth of the matter is, like it or not, i'm in a different place than them, and only hanging out with my married mommy friends has allowed a root of bitterness to be sown inside my heart. and i have to uproot it. not by getting rid of my mommy friends, but by stepping out of my comfort zone and going to a life group of single people - even though i'm petrified of the unknown of it all. will we have anything in common? will i be able to mesh into this already tight-knit group?

my friends at the office have talked me into going - so at 7 pm tonight I should be pulling in the driveway of this small group. pray that i feel God's strength enough to walk in.

thanake

2009-05-29T15:52:00.002-04:00

in myanmar most women and children (and a small number of men) wear Thanake (TH awn uh kuh). it comes from making paste from the bark of a certain kind of tree. it is said to protect skin from the sun and keep you cool. i definitely wanted in on this cultural experience - so heather and i invited MaSenDa, their language teacher, to show us how to do it.

we went into the market and found the bark and special stone used to make the paste. then we went to work - making the paste and then putting it on. i always thought that it was only on the circles or squares that you see most prominently on the face, but i found out that they put a thin layer on all over their face (and usually arms or other exposed skin as well) to provide skin protection. the designs over the top, i learned, are simply for beauty. of course, these designs were pretty hard to see on my pale skin, since it dried to a pale yellow. oh well! it was still so much fun!

we didn't get any pictures of us with our thanake completely dried on heather and i - but you get the idea!

so apparently it takes a while to get my thoughts together...

2009-05-25T20:54:00.010-04:00

so first and foremost - Happy Birthday Bethany!! what can i say about a girl who has always, without a doubt, treated me as nothing less than her little sister - what a blessing!

i have been struggling with where to even start with my trip to southeast asia. i went primarily to visit this dear wonderful friend of mine, Heather and her husband, Matthew.

in our matching shirts - her's a little bigger to fit her growing baby belly! (thanks mom!)

i was also bringing a little project for another family i'm friends with, namely their brand new son Jude.

i'm really pleased with this quilt. i made it with a lot of fabrics that the baby's mom gave me when they moved to asia. i was so excited to give them back to her in this way - and i found out when i got there that they had been her grandma's quilting fabrics! God works in awesome ways!

now i'm gonna share one of the best stories from my time there - just in case i don't get back to updating more about the time - at least this story will be shared.

many know that cyclone nargis hit the irrawady delta a year ago. it wiped out entire villages, killing hundreds of thousands. foreigners were not allowed in to bring aide. my friends who i was visiting had yet to be able to go down. however national missionaries from our org. have been able to go down from the first week on - bringing aide and hope. in one of the villages they have been working in for the past year, 13 villagers have recently given their lives to Christ and become baptized!

Matthew and i were given the opportunity to go down and visit this village on the anniversary of the cyclone. we were written special letters of entry and allowed into the delta region. Heather didn't go because the trip would have been to hard on her - being both pregnant and having kidney stones! i can testify to this because after doing the 8 hour rough road trip and 1 hour boat ride twice - i was sore for the rest of the week!

the pain was worth it! i got to see men and women learning how to praise Jesus in the midst of their grief. i began telling the children a story about Jesus healing a man and realized that every adult was hanging on my every word as well. what a privilege to get to share one small bit about who our wonderful saviour is to them for the very first time! i got to listen as they remembered those they had lost - for there was not a single family that had not lost family members and no one's home was standing after the cyclone. i shared a psalm with them about 'worshiping God in the splendor of His holiness' as they were learning that God is indeed holy. i listened as wonderful national missionaries shared the truth with boldness and cried with their new brothers and sisters. i listened to the young children sing songs of praise that they had been taught and my heart rejoiced to know that a whole new generation of this village is going to grow up knowing Christ!

the village monk wants to be baptized. 13 believers out of 200 villagers - i believe that God will sweep through this village! they are a baby church for sure - we spoke to them under a shrine to buddha in one of the new believers homes. they are still learning. our national missionaries are wise. they know that God will soon stir in them to leave their idols behind, they trust God to work in them. they are sending down workers from their body to teach them. i cannot describe the privilege i felt to get to be able to be a part of it.

entering the village

children singing a new song to Jesus!

sharing about the man who was lowered to Jesus by his friends and healed!

elder in the village and brand new brother in Christ!

new believers with national missionary

sleeping at the bottom of the boat - exhausted but hearts light!

Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness;
tremble before him, all the earth. Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!"

- Psalm 96:9-10

until i'm thinking clearly again...

2009-05-10T16:26:00.003-04:00

waiting for jet lag to wear off before i do any real posts to avoid writing things like -

"i feel like monkeys" or "here is a sonnet dedicated solely to sleep"

but for now i will share a link to a podcast and pictures that i did with my friends in SE Asia. they do them semi-regularly to share about their work. i got to join them this time. go have a look and listen - hear about some awesome things God is doing in the Arrawady Delta since Cyclone Nargis hit last year!

SE Asia bound!

2009-04-06T16:11:00.002-04:00

(this is an excerpt from my most recent email update - if you want to get these and don't - let me know!)

Next tuesday, April 14th, I will be setting off on the first of several flights to the country of Myanmar (formerly known as Burma). Myanmar is a deeply Buddhist country and we have several families working there, both nationals and Americans. I will be there to encourage the workers, do video work for our home office, shoot a couple of "Day in the life of a Miss. Kid" videos, have a first hand look at the needs of our Miss. families on the field and see better what my department (Children & Family Development Ministries) can do to serve them, and fellowship with believers there.

I am excited to have my very first Field Visit and to be able to stay with my dear friends Matt & Heather. I will be gone from April 14th - May 10th, so please use caution when emailing me during that time. Avoid "church" language (similar to when I was in China). Use "Dad" instead of God, "Dad's book" instead of bible, "Workers" instead of Miss., etc... I'm pretty perceptive, so I think I'll be able to figure out what you mean. :-)

Please Pray for:
- Safe travel to, within, and from Myanmar
- My eyes and heart to be open to God's leading during this time
- Peace of mind for my family while I am out of the country
- Good health and rest during the project

I won't be able to get on blogger while I am in the country (it's blocked there) but I will try to do a good job of updating as soon as I return! Well, at least as soon as I get over jet lag. ;-)

Here is my friend's webpage if you want to know more.

over a month

2009-03-30T17:15:00.007-04:00

*note - i typed out this entire post earlier this week only to have it disappear when i went to post. it's taken me a few days to get over that and redo. :-)

how does one update more than a month in one blog post? where to even begin?

why, with pictures of course!!

in the past month i have:

read lots of stories

lived a very "full cubby" life

wishing i could get this kind of attention from my kids instead of it being the tv

took part in the ancient tradition of ash wednesday at the episcopalian church next door

made friends with a baby

and a lovely little girl

spending many hours in my classroom - with many joys and many sorrows

took advantage of cute photo opportunities

(my parents visited in the midst of this - mom has all those pics so I will have to wait to share them)

i finally got to see wicked with 5 of my friends!!

we had great seats in the mezzanine level

last week the "stouts" visited me and hung out with coat kids. they totally revamped the kids room, cleaning and organizing!

and i got to spend playtime with kaleena's baby mckynzye!!

can you read our buttons? they say "i won the wicked lottery!" that's right, a week after i saw the show i went back to try out the lottery. basically you can come 2.5 hours early and put your name in for $25 tickets in the first 5 rows. (wicked tickets are around $100). my friend jen and i tried at the mid-day show with no luck. then that evening - they drew my name!!! i was eligiable for 2 tickets...

and these were our seats!!!

in summary - this was the hardest coat kids i have ever had. one of my kids was removed from the group for the last week or so because of some angry and aggressive behavior. it wasn't my choice but i think it was the right one. thankfully now i am hearing good reports from his family of big developments that are happening since the day of our "breakdown." luckily mom and dad were in town to listen to me cry the day of and had many reassurances from being former high school teachers i'm thankful that good is coming out of it - and at the same time - it was really hard being in the battlefield with him each day. so often i want the glory. and there was no glory in this for me! only for God. He is the one who is changing hearts. i was a very stubborn "sacrificial lamb" for my kids this time around. i need to stop fighting when it's really hard and trust God to make something good out of it. not me.

my second summary is this - my God is so gracious to me in that He knows me so well! what could be a better balm to my weary soul than theatre? really really good theatre at that. i had tears in my eyes on the way home after seeing wicked a second time - i was just so thankful that i had been given that blessing of an opportunity. to see the beautiful costumes and the actors facial expressions. i felt so connected to both the story and actors. what a way to experience the creativity of God!!

coming up: i'm going to southeast asia for a month - woohoo!!

tightrope

2009-02-22T22:54:00.002-05:00

i am a tightrope walker
balancing alone before the crowd
grin plastered on
feet precariously searching
for a place of rest
crowd smiles and cheers
i look for a moment to check
i cannot hear them
cannot see their faces anymore
the rope beneath me seems steady and strong
yet i cannot ignore the voice
the voice urging me to fall
fall?
after how far i've come?
my path to the rope was not easy
but i endured
i rose to the challenge
that i believed was mine
i made the climb
i saw others fall from the ladder
miss steps
fall to the ground
some rose, some left
to paths unknown to me
as i continued to climb
i knew my way was priveledged
i knew i was strong
fall?
no never.
cheers of the crowd are food to me
accolades that are undeserved
my pulse races
fall?
there is no net!
nothing to break my fall
i would be left
broken
like others. like before.
broken
left to crawl
to where? to what?
what lies outside the walls i've built?

the voice reassures me
'you will heal'
'you will make it'
but to what?
this rope, this balance i've made
i was sure it was the way
the path i was to take
but i can't see its end
my goal
is gone
do i press on?
do i fall?
fall to be broken
broken to be healed?
what will become of me
when i no longer walk this tightrope
can i trust the voice?
the voice calling me to fall
will i be able to lay aside pride
and fall?
can i trust the voice
that urges me so
and know that the voice will also be
the healer of the broken tightrope walker

and i will not have to crawl alone

*note - i wrote this several years ago and have posted it before. it is feeling especially true once again.

in honor of valentine's day

2009-02-14T13:37:00.002-05:00

every year the single guys at NMSI invite the single girls over for dinner and entertainment. i have no idea what this year has in store for us - but last year matt entertained us with this little ditty - and it was recently made into a video. enjoy!!

Breadstick Recipe

2009-02-13T10:04:00.002-05:00

here's my very first (possibly last) recipe video! it's pretty rough because I filmed almost all of it myself - but the recipe is absolutely delicious and hopefully you'll enjoy my goofy how-to video. the recipe is below. it's a great recipe because the rising times are short so it can be pretty easily made for dinner and they give pizza hut a run for their money!

1 1/2 c. warm water

1 packet yeast

2 tbsp. sugar

combine and let sit for 5 minutes, until yeast is foamy.

add to that:

3 c. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

either kneed for 5 minutes (very difficult because it's a very sticky dough) or mix in a kitchen aid mixer for 5 minutes with the bread hook attachment. it will be very sticky. let it sit for 10 minutes.

melt:

4 tbsp. of butter

pour into bottom of large 4-sided cookie sheet. pour dough into butter and turn it until it's totally covered. smoosh dough out into pan and add toppings. i like parmesan, garlic salt and italian seasoning. let sit for another 15 minutes. preheat oven to 350.

use a pizza cutter to cut dough into breadsticks. bake for 20 minutes. recut after you take them out and enjoy!

a treat - i hope - after my long absence

2009-02-12T15:25:00.005-05:00

posts have been lacking lately because i have been busy. it's been a hard adjustment with this new group. a lot of defiance and a baby who just doesn't like to go to sleep and will wrestle to stay awake. but this afternoon three lovely people from the office, including jen have taken on the kids (9 of them!) for the afternoon - giving me time to do planning, play catch up and blog!!

so, i thought in honor of my afternoon "off" - i would do something fun and post video of the new house that God has bless us at NMSI with and the amazing new kid's area that was built on to the "garage" of it. (i'll add the kid's video later). watch them in order to get the complete tour. hope you don't mind the narration, i tried to make it as non-annoying as possible. :-)

not me monday

2009-02-02T21:34:00.003-05:00

i saw this over on my friend bethany's blog and just burst out laughing. i just said today that i need to start keeping log of how many spills, falls and accidents i've been having lately! my new year's streak seems to continue!

so in the past 24 or so hours:

i didn't fall down my back steps in the rain and twisted both ankles, not me!

and i certainly haven't spilled two entire glasses of sweet tea, one all over the kitchen counter and one all over the living room floor - oh no, not me!

and i didn't drop two containers of soap

or cut my own thumb open with my fingernail getting ready

or trip coming in my front door or going up the stairs, more than once

and certainly didn't try to move a full file cabinet to the office to the kids area in the pouring rain, only to have it tip over on me in the sand! the wet sand! oh no not me!

meet the kids

2009-02-01T21:44:00.002-05:00

my crew for the next two months:

Nathan/Nate (12)

Israel/Izzy (8) - those dreadlocks match his daddy's! - Just got out of the hospital after a week long stay because of his asthma

Ezra (7), brother to Izzy

Ezekiel/Zeke (5), brother to Izzy & Ezra

Jazmine/Jazzy (6), sister to Nate

Hazel (9 months)

Laura, my assistant/co-teacher for this COAT, age undisclosed ;-)

hands full? i think so.

la palacia

2009-01-24T19:42:00.002-05:00

melilla has a caring bridge site: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/melillajones

her spinal fluid and brain were clear, so that's a big praise!

now this week has been just a little too busy for regular updates because i moved! it's been quite the overwhelming week but things are starting to get a little bit more settled. my new roommate (and old friend) jen and i will be welcoming our first coat participant roommate tomorrow night. to say life is spinning around is putting it mildly. my new kid's area's floor and walls have been painted, it will probably get done sometime mid-week. coat starts on tuesday, so the timing isn't great, but thankfully the first week is held offsite, so i just have to put my trust hat on and trust other people to move everything in and set it up. i'm sure i will have to re-arrange - so last weekend i spent packing, this weekend i spent unpacking house, next weekend i will spend unpacking and setting up my classroom and office. when do i get to rest??? haha, oh well. the house is truly gorgeous, i feel so blessed to be in it. it's quite calm right now since i'm the only one home - i can't imagine what it will be like when it's full up with 8 roommates!

i'll try and take some picture of my room, the rest of the house and my classroom soon to post. for now, i'll show a picture of the outside. it's gorgeous. what a blessing!

melilla

2009-01-21T10:56:00.002-05:00

Melilla was diagnosed with AL Leukemia yesterday. Her family will not be leaving next month for Bulgaria, as originally planned. They have been told to expect to be stateside for at least three years. Please pray for her. She started Chemo today and they are checking her spinal fluid to see if the cancer is there also. I love this little girl. Please pray for her and her parents, Travis and Emilie as they have a long road ahead of them.

prayer warriors please

2009-01-20T09:24:00.002-05:00

this beautiful girl is Melilla. she was my very first COAT kid. i adore her. her family is supposed to be leaving for bulgaria in the next month, but right now they are in the hospital. she'll be undergoing a bone marrow test at 10 am (in a half hour) and a blood transfusion later today. there are three possible diagnoses:

the first is a type of anemia (on the phone message it sounded like aplastic?) this would be the worst.

the second, but not as likely, is a virus. i have a feeling that this may be the virus that i had when i was 3.

the most likely that they are looking at is Leukemia.

please pray for Melilla and her parents Travis & Emilie. please pray that it's just a virus. or that God would take it completely away.

i knew it!

2009-01-17T22:29:00.000-05:00

You Belong in 1956

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

eat-in update

2009-01-17T11:17:00.002-05:00

i've found that eating-in for the entire month of january is harder than i thought. and i am not referencing the strength of my will power - even though i am very, very weak!

this is my confession time. i have eaten out 3 times. two, i feel, were unavoidable due to work. we left lake auroa at 11 in the morning last week. i thought we would leave right after lunch or breakfast, so no big deal to wait. but 11! i was so hungry and my car stopped to eat. i knew we were still a good two hours from home and i was both ready for food and out of snacks (i'd shared during the week). then my entire division went out for a lunch (something we only do once or twice a year!) this week.

now this last one, this one i claim as weakness. i could have chosen to not eat. a friend from college was visiting and so about 15 of us went out with her and went to pizza hut. oh pizza. i even sprung for breadsticks. i think that was guilt. perhaps i will go three days into february to make up for it!

in other news, this cake is my current pride and joy. i made this with my friend mary thursday night. it was a birthday cake for an avocado lover - it's an avocado shaped cake!!

staff retreat thoughts

2009-01-14T16:41:00.003-05:00

every year all of the staff at the CGO (center for global outreach) meet together at lake aurora church camp for a time of retreat. each time we have a day of solitude. it varies in length each year. this year we had 3 or 4 hours. i always dread and desire this time. 4 hours of silence alone with God!? what do i do? it's going to be awesome! it's going to be horrible!

i'll be honest here. i have been going through some definite valleys lately. i've struggled to see God at work in my life in the midst of one mishap after another, one challenge after another.

so i found myself at the end of "my" pier at lake aurora. i always try to claim this peaceful spot during this time of silence and solitude. my feet were dangling off the end and i found myself staring at the water directly beneath me. small lakes tend to have sludge-like floors. i looked at the small pieces of trash and debris sunk at the bottom and the weeds growing up through the water. i couldn't seem to take my eyes off the bottom. i saw a few ripples of light across the top and thought to myself that they were some sort of pretty.

i noticed that my friend ryan had also come down the pier. i looked up at him and noticed him staring intently out at the lake. it shook me that i had never even thought to look up.

so i looked and in one motion i was both blinded by the brilliant light of the sunrise and breathless at the absolute beauty of the lake. tall reeds blowing in the wind, the water rippling, and the gorgeous light of the sun reflected and shimmering all across the water. my eyes could not bear to look, they burned and ached in the sun's intensity. and it was beautiful.

oh and i got it. the beautiful lesson that God was laying out for me. He knows that i am a visual learner. my own life has been so deeply stuck in the mire, in the muck, that i've forgotten that the Light, God's light, is even there! it is so intimately close, but i had to lift my eyes.

when i lift my eyes there is such a beauty, such a glorious, brilliant Light, that it takes my breath away. God is that beauty, God is that light. and it is too much for me to look at. the Light is too strong for my weak and weary eyes. i must beseech Him for the strength, for the healing, for the ability to look on His light and beauty, to view the beautiful full picture of all the things around me. for i've been told that He gives both light and the ability to gaze into it.

who would desire to continue looking at the bile after they've seen the breathtaking? too often i do. i pray that God will lift the veil over my eyes and draw me into His brilliant Light and i will reflect it as beautifully as the ripples on the water.

for a contrast

2009-01-13T21:34:00.002-05:00

i just got home from bible study and i really need to attack the full sink of dishes leering at me.

i didn't realize that eating-in all month would result in one horrible result - dishes, dishes, and more dishes!

and i just want to go to bed!!

(upcoming posts: insights from staff retreat last week and a few meal successes during my eat-in weeks...and an eat-in confession or two)

i'm not sure what's gotten into me...

2009-01-12T23:12:00.002-05:00

since i've gotten home from work at 5 i've:

done two loads of laundry (including actually folding and putting away)
cleaned and organized the classroom
checked the publix ad online and made a grocery list
went grocery shopping
made and ate dinner
went on an all campus hunt for 1 more egg and another round pan
made a german chocolate cake from scratch (well, a doctored cake mix and homemade coconut-pecan icing)
went through two more drawers, packing and downsizing
vacuumed my entire house

shouldn't i be tired???

a series of unfortunate events

2009-01-03T21:39:00.003-05:00

it's hard not to get a complex when it seems as though everything seems to break around you.

i blew a tire a few weeks ago on my way to church. major drama. that came two days after my ice skating belly flopping bruises.

now i've entered into the new year with my bruised, scraped hands and knees and torn jeans.

and within 24 hours of each other, yesterday both my cake carrier and wonderful trunk both busted. the carrier fell off of the top shelf. apparently my gigantic stack of publix bags was holding it up on the shelf and when they were removed it fell to it's exuberant finish.

i brought out my trunk to go through it's contents and repack it for my upcoming house move. and when i opened it the lid just popped off! nail studs went flying. i have no idea how this happened. very sad.

sigh.

day 2

2009-01-02T21:11:00.003-05:00

i'm not even sure what i ate yesterday. when i made this challenge, i wasn't counting on a bad head cold and swollen knees. so i didn't get fresh groceries until today. breakfast was difficult without milk and eggs, so hopefully tomorrow will be better.

the past two days i have desperately wanted convenience food! i didn't want to stand on my hurting knees and cook food from scratch. i didn't want to shop with my stuffy head.

but i prevailed. i made yummy cheesy tuna pockets with crescent rolls for lunch. for dinner i made 15 spice rub chicken in the oven (i keep a baggie of the rub in my spice basket) and sweet potato chunks for dinner. so all in all, success! and i bought groceries!

i think a big batch of chocolate chip pancakes are in order for tomorrow morning. i freeze leftovers for yummy breakfasts on the run. since i don't eat syrup, a few chocolate chips go a long way to appeasing my sweet tooth.

in answer to questions - for me, i'm not making any exceptions for drinks with friends or gift cards. i would make the gift card exception if i was doing this for a year. and donna, i definitely think you should keep going to get drinks with friends. you have to have little splurges when you live overseas! this, for me, is all to break a very bad habit of mine. the week before i left for christmas with my family, i ate out in some form every day! who did i think i was!? i can't afford that, physically or financially! hence the challenge.

eat-in january

2009-01-01T23:17:00.005-05:00

so today starts eat-in january. i have decided to challenge myself to not eating out at all for the next month. no chick fil-a runs, no macdonald's sweet tea, nothing.

"why?" you might ask. several reasons actually. for one, my pantry and freezer are both very well stocked. insanely well for a single girl. i keep forgetting that i'm not a family! (now, my fridge is dangerously bare, but i just flew back home yesterday and today was not a day for buying groceries). also, i've found that i've been 'on a whim' eating out multiple times a week. it's laziness and tiredness and plain poor stewardship - not to mention bad news for my waistline!

so the challenge has begun.

hopefully some good recipes and good times will come from this. i already had to turn down a brunch invite this morning. i did not anticipate a challenge so soon!

and with the money i will hopefully be saving, as my friend erin pointed out, i can buy a new pair of jeans!

"why jeans?" you may ask? because last night after the ball dropped, i tripped on the way out to the car. big time. sprawled flat in the middle of the road. bruised and scraped hands and knees. and you guessed it, ripped jeans. and they were my good jeans! the rest of my jeans are free pile jeans. they are nice, but one pair constantly has to be hitched up and another is safety pinned together. these were my jeans that i bought. that i went through the torturous process of pants shopping for. and now, they are toast. so very sad.

so i'm entering 2009 with a bad cold, ripped jeans, swollen knees and a major craving for chick fil-a. i can only hope that it gets better from here!! i am very excited about the challenge of eat-in january!

christmas quilt

2008-12-31T12:21:00.005-05:00

remember this adorable little one? well, i got to meet my beautiful new cousin/niece this past week and she's wonderful.

i worked like crazy and got her 'welcome to world/merry christmas' gift done with a day to spare - what do you think??

we wish you a merry christmas

2008-12-29T14:00:00.002-05:00

warm wishes from me and my adorable nephew ethan.

check out the background after you watch it once. that's not really my mom, it's a cardboard cutout.

two-fer with filo (fillo or phyllo) dough! otherwise known as "holiday bragging rights"

2008-12-16T19:57:00.009-05:00

recently i have been experimenting the delights and simultaneous evils of filo dough. it makes delightful dishes. half of the time i use it, i goes wonderfully. the other half of the time, the stuff tears all over the place and sticks together. yet, worth it every time.

number 1

there are several bulgarian dishes that are made with filo dough, so this fall i created a recipe for my new favorite bulgarian breakfast/dessert - pumpkin banitza.

pumpkin banitza

1 (16oz.) can pumpkin puree

1/2 stick butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup finely chopped pecans

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

16 sheets filo dough, thawed

preheat to 400 degrees. mix pumpkin, sugar, pecans and cinnamon. stack two sheets of filo dough ad brush lightly with melted butter. (i orginally used a brush - i gave up - my fingers work so much better!) spoon out a 1/2 inch strip of filling along the long side of the dough, leaving about an inch or less free on the ends and the side of the dough. fold in the bottom edge first, then the sides, then gently roll it away from yourself until you have a tight roll. brush the top with more melted butter. repeat with the rest of the dough. place rolls on the pan (cookie sheet of any form, very lightly sprayed). bake for 20 minutes or until lightly brown. place under the broiler for just a moment to crisp the tops. eat warm or at room temperature. so yummy! thank you bulgaria!

number 2

secondly, my friend kevin celebrates his birthday every year with a little holiday he's titled "pie-tacular!" he has everyone bring pies and then he gets to try all of them and then vote on his favorites. top honors always go to his wife who makes his favorite, pecan pie. last year i brought a peppermint pie and received some form of award. this year was very exciting for me, as i tied for second and won a lovely pie server - a kitchen tool i didn't own! even better than the honors was the rave reviews i got all night. i decided to go 'non-traditional' and make "pie-lettes." i made white chocolate hazelnut tarts. they were from a delicious treat by giada delaurentis - a family favorite from the food network. they were fancy but so worth it! i was going to show pictures of these, but i forgot and all i have to show for my success is a pie server and a completely empty mini-muffin tin!

white chocolate hazelnut tarts

8 frozen phyllo pastrysheets, thawed

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

6 ounces good-quality white chocolate, chopped

1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

1/2 cup hazelnuts, toasted, husked, and finely chopped

1/4 cup chocolate hazelnut spread (recommended: Nutella)

1 (3-ounce) bar bittersweet chocolate, grated, for garnish

preheat the oven to 375 degrees. lay 1 phyllo sheet on a work surface. brush the phyllo with melted butter. top with another phyllo sheet. repeat with more butter and 2 more phyllo sheets. cut the stacked phyllo sheets into 12 squares. line each mini-muffin cup with 1 stacked phyllo square, allowing the edges to ruffle and extend above the cup rims. repeat with the remaining 4 phyllo sheets and melted butter. bake until the phyllo cups are golden brown, about 7 minutes. transfer the muffin pan to a cooling rack and cool completely.

meanwhile, stir the white chocolate and 1/4 cup cream in a heavy small saucepan over low heat until the chocolate is melted and smooth. pour into a large bowl and cool to barely lukewarm. stir in the hazelnuts. using an electric mixer, beat the remaining 1 1/4 cups cream in another large bowl to medium-firm peaks. fold the cream into the white chocolate mixture in 2 batches. cover and refrigerate until cold, about 1 hour.

put nutella into a small ziplock bag and snip corner. squeeze a small amount into each phyllo cup. put white chocolate mousse into a large ziplock and snip corner. pipe into each cup, mounding it at the top. sprinkle grated chocolate on top over the mousse.

ode to my...

2008-12-15T22:09:00.004-05:00

cookie scoop!

i found this wonderful gadget last year after christmas in one of the 75% off sales. my only guess is that it is "christmas-y" because it is red. i was so excited. i never would have bought it if it hadn't been on sale. now i can't imagine going back to the two spoon method. all my cookies come out the same size, shape and height, making for beautiful cookies and easier baking! needless to say - i love my cookie scoop!

the recipe shown is my absolute favorite cookie, peanut butter chocolate chip. simple and wonderful.

peanut butter chocolate chip cookies

3/4 c. butter

1 c. sugar

1 c. packed brown sugar

1/2 c. peanut butter

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

2 1/2 c. flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/4 c. chocolate chips (or more)

preheat to 350. beat the first 4 until well mixed and then blend in eggs and vanilla. mix in the dry ingredients. stir in the chocolate chips. drop on cookie sheets - using cookie scoop :-) - bake for 10-12 minutes.

enjoy!

lost video of me

2008-12-14T17:27:00.002-05:00

so i found this online today. i remember filming this one wednesday night before church and i also remember that i was gone the following sunday when it was shown and i was never able to see it! i always wondered what on earth the finished video was about. (my worship pastor was preaching sunday and this was his lead-in).

so here's a little glimpse of me in my much blonder days. the little boy at the very beginning was one of my first kids in my preschool ministry in knoxville...pretty cute, huh?

you take the tooth and you leave the money

2008-12-09T17:58:00.007-05:00

this old skit has me speaking in a falsetto voice and cracking up all the time.

confessions of a tooth fairy

(the fairy on the left is SNL's kristen wiig in her early days)

first time ice skating

2008-12-06T16:35:00.005-05:00

so yet another first in the life of abigail. last night was my friend lena's birthday, so we took her to the skatium a few blocks from here. that's right folks, i went ice skating for the first time in my life in florida. what a crazy world.

Here's the whole group ready to skate!

Here I am enjoying a moment of almost complete uprightness!

Here I am after fall #2 - the guy working there who helped me up taught me how to stand up after a fall right after this pic. he complimented me on remembering that lesson after fall #3 (which is the fall that i am still feeling today)

yet after skating came my time to shine - cake time! i may have topped myself with this moist 3-layer devil's food cake with sweet cream filling and an almost fudge-like icing.

here's me with some of my kids

2008-12-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

dancing babies...oh i just can't get over it!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

lillian meredith alter

2008-11-24T11:45:00.008-05:00

can't wait to meet this little one in a month!

leading a simple life of quiet desperation

2008-11-21T13:07:00.002-05:00

or...my trash is my treasure.

so today i joined some friends for lunch at subway. it's a great treat because subway is only two blocks away, so we can walk and they have $5 footlongs! that's $5 for lunch and dinner!

so i ate my yummy chicken sandwich half, got to know a few new people and then realized i was short on time to get back to be with the kids, so i hurriedly grabbed my tray and said my goodbyes. i head to the trash can, make a quick drop there, turn around and realize with horror - "i just threw my dinner away!"

i looked to my friend kylee who wasted no time in saying, "fish it out!" at first i completely balked at this idea. then i reasoned. this is my dinner. this was $5. that sandwich was wrapped tightly in two layers of paper. i'm a missionary. this would be good stewardship.

so i did it. i opened the trash can door, pulled the can out and looked in. i was pleased to see mostly napkins and paper inside. my sandwich was right on the top. i pulled it out, there was nothing on the paper at all, no sticky veggies, no sauce, nothing. my friends all reassured me that it was fine (but i still got a bag to carry it home in so i could stop touching it).

and so here i am confessing something. desperation? complete proof that traveling overseas and living in 3rd world countries does change you in some ways? my love for food?

either way, i will be eating my sandwich tonight (even though i will wash my hands after i take it out of the paper and throw that away - i still have standards!). as one of my friends remarked, "one man's trash is another man's treasure." although in this case, it does seem that it is my trash that is my treasure. ha!

my teaching philosophy: whatever works!

2008-11-15T21:46:00.005-05:00

(YAY! many thanks to bethany who sent me to photobucket to upload my videos. how easy! here is my belated post from friday!)

doing "whatever works" would never have gotten me an A in my education courses, but i believe that you do whatever it takes for which ever child you're with to make learning happen.

kaleb has been resisting me for the past few weeks when it comes to letters. i just couldn't get his attention. he knew 'O' but he claimed every other letter was 'B' but yesterday we had a breakthrough that went straight to his all-boy heart! he got to hit and sweep each letter off of the table after he correctly said it. he didn't want to stop, he was enjoying it so much!

you can definitely tell that i've taught english to speakers of other languages in this video!

harvest soup

2008-11-15T17:09:00.004-05:00

so i've been trying for two days to upload one short little video, but so far, no luck. instead i've decided to tell everyone about my wonderful soup success from this week! i am happy, of course, that it was really yummy and had rave reviews, but i think i'm even more excited about the fact that it was super thrifty!

i got everything in it through angel food ministries, basics i had on hand, food left from former roommates or friends when they've gone overseas, or from a sam's club $5 rotisserie chicken(which i keep bags of chicken and homemade stock in my freezer). It was super hearty and delicious.

Harvest Soup

1 bag frozen Edamame steamers (left by friends going overseas)

1/2 Small Bag of Soup Bean Mix (Angel Food)

2 small white onions (Angel Food)

1/2 of a red onion

Minced Garlic

3-4 cups of Shredded Chicken (Sam's Rotisserie)

5 cups of Chicken Broth (homemade from Sam's Rotisserie)

2 white potatoes

2 red potatoes

1 bag of frozen mixed veggies (corn, green beans, etc) (Angel Food)

1/2 bag whole wheat noodles (left by a former roommate)

Spices (Salt, Pepper, Basil, Bay leaves and Savory)

1/2 bag Spinach

I steamed and shelled the Edamame. I soaked the Bean Mix. The next day I sauteed the onions and garlic while boiling the cut up potatoes in water. I cooked the Bean mix. I defrosted the frozen chicken, broth, and veggies and then threw them all in with the cooked beans and added spices. I added the Edamame to cook and then the potatoes when they were almost done. I put in the noodles towards the last 10 minutes of cooking. The last thing I threw in was several large handfuls of spinach.

one of my friends commented that she felt like she had thanksgiving dinner in a soup when she had it for lunch yesterday. what a compliment! i just really was wanting to use the edamame in something! but i am pretty pleased with this yummy soup/stew. i think the recipe is a keeper. and binkley girls, look close in the background. do you recognize the napkin?? thanks to kelsey and travis's wedding, i've made the switch to using only cloth napkins! i love it!

pumpkin carving!

2008-11-11T21:52:00.008-05:00

this is totally belated, but i wanted to post a few pictures from our pumpkin carving party a few weeks ago. unfortunately really hard life stuff came up and has delayed me, but better late than never!

we must have had at least 20 pumpkins, if not more. everyone went to town. we had patterns, but by the time i started mine, i didn't like any of the patterns left. i wasn't in the mood to do spooky so i freehanded a flower. i took my work very seriously, as you can see.

to top off things, several of us made harvest-y treats. i am very pleased with what i made, a little idea from a kids' activity book. these mini "jack-o-lanterns" were actually hollowed out oranges that had pumpkin pie filling baked in them. the faces were made possible by good ole sharpie and voila! cute little jack-o-lantern pumpkin treats! easy and fun! a two year old helped me make them!

it only feels like everything will change

2008-11-03T17:42:00.002-05:00

today it feels like our entire world is shaken.

today hurts.

today there is fear in the air. it feels like nothing will ever be the same and that the only possible outcomes could be bad.

that decisions of others could ruin everything forever.

but what of my sovereign God? He is bigger. He is stronger. He is holy.

and He will reign. even when you feel like things possibly couldn't get worse - He is bigger than your fear, your hurts.

this applies to some aches on my heart today and i'm sure will apply to about half of my friends tomorrow, when the candidate they believe in doesn't get elected.

all i can and will say over and over is - Glory to God in the Highest. He is first and last. He is great and glorious. and we need not live in despair because - Behold! Even now He is making all things new! even now i wonder how i can type this through my tears and all i can say is that deep down, i know that there is no greater truth than God's sovereignty.

Christ in you is the hope of glory. hold fast to Him. hold fast to hope. take every burden to Him for He is everything.

gypsy wedding

2008-10-22T18:14:00.008-04:00

while i was in bulgaria, i got the chance to go back to berkovitza and see two of the girls i worked with get married. the girl in video was celebrating her 1st day of the wedding, and later that evening we took part in the 3rd and final day of the wedding celebration for her first cousin.

from what i saw, it was a whole lot of this style of dancing and a lot of food. an interesting cultural experience for sure.

the white girl in the wedding party is michelle. she's with nmsi and has just moved to berkovitza full time. she was a bridesmaid in both weddings. doesn't her dress look like Belle's from Beauty and the Beast??

el presidente phil

2008-10-21T13:14:00.004-04:00

this is nmsi's president phil. he loves all of our kids. he cares for each of our workers deeply. he's been given so much wisdom from God.

and during triennial, when one of our 2 year olds got horrible motion sickness on the bus - he helped me clean up throw up.

that's a good president.

we're blessed.

i miss a couple of people

2008-10-20T17:34:00.003-04:00

it was wonderful reconnecting with friends at the triennial (my organization's conference and retreat - held every three years for everyone that works with us around the world). it was in bulgaria and greece.

the hard part, however was saying goodbye to wonderful friends all over again, knowing that there is a possibility of not seeing them again for 3 years.

i miss a couple of people.

back

2008-10-19T17:36:00.000-04:00

so a month later, i'm back in the country. i've been in bulgaria and greece, so my plans are to do a few post-triennial posts over the next few days. we'll see if it's actually accomplished.

stay tuned.

sooooo excited!!!

2008-09-24T09:53:00.003-04:00

i'm very excited to show off my new cabinets and counter that just got installed in my classroom!!

they are going to make my life so much easier and it's just one more step of making the classroom look less like a back porch (which it originally was) and more like a real classroom!

(also note the great changing table that one of our missionaries left!)

famousocity

2008-08-31T23:56:00.003-04:00

i can't help it.

part of me wants to tell my few readers to tell their friends, increase my readership! i want to be famous!

it's really not my fault. i got the bug when i was in preschool on the church christmas program, uttering those famous first lines, "christmastime is when santa claus comes!" i heard the slight chuckle from the crowd and i was hooked. i got to do my favorite thing, pretending, in front of everyone and win them over good. it was fabulous.

so now, the constant battle rages. do i do things for God's glory? for pure enjoyment? or because secretly deep down, i want hundreds of people to read my words, (or listen to me speak, eat my food, etc...) and be amazed at my wit, humor, charm, and giftedness.

sadly i know the answer is too often the later.

(to put minds at ease, my character in that first play was later given a lesson on the true meaning of christmas. )

i'm going to be blogging a whole lot more...

2008-08-31T23:28:00.004-04:00

i am now over 24 hours into living in my own place.

on my own. still on campus. but by myself. alone. with lots of time to myself. did i mention i'm alone?

now do not get me wrong, i thrive and recharge on my own. i have a very active inner-mental life that is quite entertaining and enjoyable (if i do say so myself). in fact i may be at my most charming when i'm alone - too bad for everyone else!

this new lifestyle change came from a combination of several things, including the need to fit one more girl into the fall coat (community, orientation, assessment, training) program and my need to have a space for all the coat kids. you see we have a room, but that room is missing some key things, like nap space, and oh, a friendly wonderful place we know as a bathroom. my new place just happens to be attached to the kid room, aka the back porch, and so now i live where i work, or as i like to think of it, i work from home! there is a small room in the apartment that is being filled with pack n plays and a bassinet. and yes, there is a bathroom.

now, while i'm quite keen on inviting people over and going to see people, when push comes to shove, i will be spending more alone time. this is the first time in over 7 years that i haven't lived with a bunch of girls.

so here's what i've noticed:

sleeping in house where i know, i know that i won't be woken up by anyone's voice, phone call, loud feet, snoring, heavy breathing, etc... is bliss. truly.
sleeping in a queen sized bed alone is lonely. i thought i would love all the room. a double bed is perfect, i couldn't imagine sharing a bed with another person, i was just fine with my space. but this bed, this is too much space.
i notice everything now. like intently watching my toilet to see if it still leaks water each time it is flushed. because i have to notice - no one else will!
that i'm getting very bad about narrating out loud when i cook (the result of many hours watching food network)
i was, in fact, responsible for drinking the majority of the sweet tea in my house. now i have no way of denying it.
groceries for one is ridiculous.
i know it's excessive, but i lock every lock at night. down to the chain lock that makes me feel a little bit like i'm in a hotel. so no worries mom and random friend or two that read this, every night i click and turn and slide and secure myself in good and tight.
and finally, i, the girl who did not eat more than 3 vegetables until my 20s, was bummed out when i realized that i forgot to get broccoli today on my shopping trip - with no roommate broccoli to fall back on. i really wanted that green goodness. and then i secretly made fun of myself inside my head for craving broccoli. i mean, who craves broccoli?

look out world, abigail's in her mid-twenties and craving the greens. the apocalypse is surely around the corner.

spellbound - and for once i'm not talking about wicked

2008-08-22T23:55:00.003-04:00

we just watched jbc's version of godspell together, my roommates and me.

and that accurately describes how i feel now that it's over - i am in a God - spell.

i am spellbound by Christ's life and His sacrifice. how utterly and deeply betrayed and alone He was - how He still gave it all after that

and how unbelievably breathtaking it is to see His victory for all.

as it says all in one voice, "prepare ye the way of the Lord" and "long live God"

He is, was, and always will be.

how does one describe the depth of Christ in those moments you are smacked with it? i don't think i can. but i am in awe right now. i am spellbound.

come and join the mighty chorus the stars began -

Joyful Joyful Lord We Adore Thee

home town shenanigans

2008-08-13T13:55:00.004-04:00

thank you so much for sending me this rachel -

From today's Comet -

Burlington Police Dept.

July 31 - Hammond investigated report of a goat running loose on Jackson Street. Goat was located and turned over to Burlington Meats.

and that's all I have to say about that

Burlington here I come