Twinkle Twinkle never sounded so good to my ears

become like children...

one thing about children. they don't assume they know it all. at their core they know their parents know more and when push comes to shove, they turn to them. they never fool themselves into thinking they have it all figured out, that they have the "correct doctrine." that is unheard of. rather humility is a natural part of their lives. they know they are weak. yet, they do not let this fact despair them. humility does not equal shame. rather, they embrace learning what they do not know with enthusiasm. learning is play, is life. it is normal, a joy, not a struggle. not knowing does not cause them to stumble in pride. they simply learn from one who knows and joyfully recive their new knowledge.

i think we can learn a lot from children.


yesterday i held two-year old melilla, curled up in my arms, scared from a scene in little mermaid 2. i held her and whispered, "shhh...it's okay. i know it's bad right now, but it will all be good in the end. i promise. trust me. i know."

at that moment i felt God's arms wrap around me and whisper, "shh...it's okay. I know it's bad right now, but it will all be good in the end. I promise. trust Me. I know."

amen.

times of crisis

i'm thinking about crisis right now.

i have 3 friends in jamaica right now with a team of high schoolers. and they are getting slammed with hurricane dean. we may loose contact with them soon. we just don't know what will happen. in times like these, with so much unknown, you don't know if the choices you make are going to be right or wrong. because you have no idea what the outcome will be.

earlier this week another friend got a phone call that her brother had been in a wreck. as of right now he's paralyzed from the neck down. he's had a surgery to stabalize him, but it will be weeks before they will be able to see if he can regain any feeling.

both situations seem grim. hopeless.

it reminds me of a time when my newborn nephew lay in a hospital attached to machines that pumped his heart and lungs for him. the doctors didn't hold out much hope for him either.

but then God's people prayed. and he breathed. on his own. something the doctors said was impossible. God healed my nephew completely. it was, in all accounts, a miracle.

so now we pray again. knowing that God is a miracle worker. that He is more powerful than any force in this world.

with God there is always reason to hope.

organic housekeeping

i am quite pleased with this book i have been reading lately. it has so many great tips for cleaning and organizing that are simple, cheap, and good for the environment and you!

here's a few fun tidbits:

basically everything in the world can be cleaned/disinfected with white vinegar, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, vodka, or any combination of the above. - my fear was that my house would stink with the vinegar, but it's odorless once it drys!

furniture oil can be made with 2 parts olive oil, 1 part lemon juice - my wooden table looks great!

we don't have a spice rack, so they all go in the cabinet. it was a mess! then i found two cheap baskets and label the tops of each spice with a sharpie. it's so easy to find what i need and the baskets are like drawers. (i wanted to put the spices in one of our kitchen drawers, but the spice jars are too tall.)

wooden cutting boards are much better than plastic. it's true! wood absorbes and kills bacteria in it's grooves in just minutes. bacteria can live in the grooves of plastic cutting boards for weeks, even after being washed. the old theory about wooden cutting boards being worse for you is totally false!

man, i've been totally home ec-y lately.

a journey of hope

why do i wait months to post?

simply because God has been doing way to much to sit down and write about it.

i admit that the early summer left me fearful of what would lie ahead. i could only imagine that a summer separate from so many i loved and trusted, doing things that i was fearful of could only end badly. that i would emerge from this summer worse off, strained, and further from God. that my friends would grow apart from me. that i would never truly be open with those i love and they would move on before i could give and before i could let them in. that the happiness i had enjoyed would only be fleeting memory.

i couldn't have been more wrong. in late may (after my last post) God nudged me to realize that just because change was on the horizon, did not mean that it equaled things getting worse. i wrote these words in my journal:

"yet i have been told that there is hope in God. that His
hope does not disappoint. so that there is this possibility, faint,
growing in my heart, that there is hope. that maybe i will grow.
that maybe things will get better this summer. that i will become more
open and relationships will deepen. that i am not approaching a future
of doom, but instead a future of hope. there is hope."

and it was tested. day after day, this hope was tested. there have been so many rough spots and stretching moments this summer.

yet

God showed me through a tim keller sermon that i have hope because of my future i have in Him. nothing is to difficult in light of what He has planned. because this life is not the end. i have so much hope in Him.

and hope has been found in the strangest, smallest, and beautiful ways. a guy on campus pulling my chair out for me causing me to realize that there are wonderful, godly, gentlemen out there and that maybe i can let down my pride and stubborn independance and receive love and graciousness from another.

that God could use me to teach a hardened group of high schoolers. that He does provide the words when you have nothing to say and no idea how to say it.

that God gives me the strength to serve in places that are unsafe.

that He doesn't give up on me and puts people in my life who do the same.

that He is still calling me overseas, He just wanted me to trust Him with the location.

that He finds me worthy enough to continue teaching me even though i fail to listen so often.

that He's helping me be more honest.

that He puts people in my life at the right time (sometimes even strangers) to pray with me.

that He brings unexpected new friends.

that He has given me the ability to sleep again - without medication.

that He has renewed my passion for asia.

that He is sovereign.

it's true, actually, what the Bible says - Hope does not disappoint.

summer in the city

it is an interesting day today. i leave to bid farewell to all of my dear friends who are jet setting around the world leading and going on internships this summer.

as for me, i will remain here in my new town of fort myers. i have begun a sunday school ministry with 2nd and 3rd graders, be a camp missionary for a week with high schoolers, and do all things media for the mission to the best of my ability.

part of me wants to be heading off to the foreign field with everyone else, but i have a sneaking suspicion that God has much to teach me here. may my eyes be open and my ears ready to hear whatever the Lord leads.

all together now...Jesus!

Become like Children...

just a thought. we laugh at little children for always enthusiastically answering the sunday school answer of God or Jesus to every question. perhaps they are really wiser than us all because they know that is really the ultimate answer to everything.

and then it becomes not at all suprising that God would put someone as stubborn as me in ministry with children. it reminds me of that very fact i strive to lose the pretense of thinking that i know so much more than these children i'm "teaching."