Wednesday, December 31, 2008

christmas quilt

remember this adorable little one?  well, i got to meet my beautiful new cousin/niece this past week and she's wonderful.  
i worked like crazy and got her 'welcome to world/merry christmas' gift done with a day to spare - what do you think??

Monday, December 29, 2008

we wish you a merry christmas

warm wishes from me and my adorable nephew ethan.




check out the background after you watch it once.  that's not really my mom, it's a cardboard cutout.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

two-fer with filo (fillo or phyllo) dough! otherwise known as "holiday bragging rights"

recently i have been experimenting the delights and simultaneous evils of filo dough.  it makes delightful dishes.  half of the time i use it, i goes wonderfully.  the other half of the time, the stuff tears all over the place and sticks together.  yet, worth it every time.  

number 1
there are several bulgarian dishes that are made with filo dough, so this fall i created a recipe for my new favorite bulgarian breakfast/dessert - pumpkin banitza.  

pumpkin banitza
1 (16oz.) can pumpkin puree
1/2 stick butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup finely chopped pecans
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
16 sheets filo dough, thawed

preheat to 400 degrees.  mix pumpkin, sugar, pecans and cinnamon.  stack two sheets of filo dough ad brush lightly with melted butter.  (i orginally used a brush - i gave up - my fingers work so much better!)  spoon out a 1/2 inch strip of filling along the long side of the dough, leaving about an inch or less free on the ends and the side of the dough.  fold in the bottom edge first, then the sides, then gently roll it away from yourself until you have a tight roll.  brush the top with more melted butter.  repeat with the rest of the dough.  place rolls on the pan (cookie sheet of any form, very lightly sprayed).  bake for 20 minutes or until lightly brown.  place under the broiler for just a moment to crisp the tops.  eat warm or at room temperature.  so yummy!  thank you bulgaria!

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number 2
secondly, my friend kevin celebrates his birthday every year with a little holiday he's titled "pie-tacular!"  he has everyone bring pies and then he gets to try all of them and then vote on his favorites.  top honors always go to his wife who makes his favorite, pecan pie.  last year i brought a peppermint pie and received some form of award.  this year was very exciting for me, as i tied for second and won a lovely pie server - a kitchen tool i didn't own!  even better than the honors was the rave reviews i got all night.  i decided to go 'non-traditional' and make "pie-lettes."  i made white chocolate hazelnut tarts.  they were from a delicious treat by giada delaurentis - a family favorite from the food network.  they were fancy but so worth it!  i was going to show pictures of these, but i forgot and all i have to show for my success is a pie server and a completely empty mini-muffin tin!

white chocolate hazelnut tarts
8 frozen phyllo pastrysheets, thawed
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
6 ounces good-quality white chocolate, chopped
1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup hazelnuts, toasted, husked, and finely chopped
1/4 cup chocolate hazelnut spread (recommended: Nutella)
1 (3-ounce) bar bittersweet chocolate, grated, for garnish

preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  lay 1 phyllo sheet on a work surface. brush the phyllo with melted butter. top with another phyllo sheet. repeat with more butter and 2 more phyllo sheets. cut the stacked phyllo sheets into 12 squares. line each mini-muffin cup with 1 stacked phyllo square, allowing the edges to ruffle and extend above the cup rims. repeat with the remaining 4 phyllo sheets and melted butter. bake until the phyllo cups are golden brown, about 7 minutes. transfer the muffin pan to a cooling rack and cool completely.

meanwhile, stir the white chocolate and 1/4 cup cream in a heavy small saucepan over low heat until the chocolate is melted and smooth. pour into a large bowl and cool to barely lukewarm. stir in the hazelnuts. using an electric mixer, beat the remaining 1 1/4 cups cream in another large bowl to medium-firm peaks. fold the cream into the white chocolate mixture in 2 batches. cover and refrigerate until cold, about 1 hour.

put nutella into a small ziplock bag and snip corner.  squeeze a small amount into each phyllo cup.  put white chocolate mousse into a large ziplock and snip corner.  pipe into each cup, mounding it at the top.   sprinkle grated chocolate on top over the mousse.   

Monday, December 15, 2008

ode to my...

cookie scoop!  

i found this wonderful gadget last year after christmas in one of the 75% off sales.  my only guess is that it is "christmas-y" because it is red.  i was so excited.  i never would have bought it if it hadn't been on sale.  now i can't imagine going back to the two spoon method.  all my cookies come out the same size, shape and height, making for beautiful cookies and easier baking!  needless to say - i love my cookie scoop!


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the recipe shown is my absolute favorite cookie, peanut butter chocolate chip. simple and wonderful.

peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
3/4 c. butter
1 c. sugar
1 c. packed brown sugar
1/2 c. peanut butter
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 1/2 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/4 c. chocolate chips (or more)

preheat to 350.  beat the first 4 until well mixed and then blend in eggs and vanilla.   mix in the dry ingredients.  stir in the chocolate chips.  drop on cookie sheets - using cookie scoop  :-) - bake for 10-12 minutes.  

enjoy!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

lost video of me

so i found this online today.  i remember filming this one wednesday night before church and i also remember that i was gone the following sunday when it was shown and i was never able to see it!  i always wondered what on earth the finished video was about.  (my worship pastor was preaching sunday and this was his lead-in).  

so here's a little glimpse of me in my much blonder days.  the little boy at the very beginning was one of my first kids in my preschool ministry in knoxville...pretty cute, huh?






Tuesday, December 9, 2008

you take the tooth and you leave the money

this old skit has me speaking in a falsetto voice and cracking up all the time.  

confessions of a tooth fairy


(the fairy on the left is SNL's kristen wiig in her early days)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

first time ice skating

so yet another first in the life of abigail.  last night was my friend lena's birthday, so we took her to the skatium a few blocks from here.  that's right folks, i went ice skating for the first time in my life in florida.  what a crazy world.


Here's the whole group ready to skate!


Here I am enjoying a moment of almost complete uprightness!


Here I am after fall #2 - the guy working there who helped me up taught me how to stand up after a fall right after this pic.  he complimented me on remembering that lesson after fall #3 (which is the fall that i am still feeling today)


yet after skating came my time to shine - cake time!  i may have topped myself with this moist 3-layer devil's food cake with sweet cream filling and an almost fudge-like icing.




Monday, December 1, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

leading a simple life of quiet desperation

or...my trash is my treasure.

so today i joined some friends for lunch at subway.  it's a great treat because subway is only two blocks away, so we can walk and  they have $5 footlongs!  that's $5 for lunch and dinner!

so i ate my yummy chicken sandwich half, got to know a few new people and then realized i was short on time to get back to be with the kids, so i hurriedly grabbed my tray and said my goodbyes.  i head to the trash can, make a quick drop there, turn around and realize with horror - "i just threw my dinner away!"  

i looked to my friend kylee who wasted no time in saying, "fish it out!"  at first i completely balked at this idea.  then i reasoned.  this is my dinner.  this was $5.  that sandwich was wrapped tightly in two layers of paper.   i'm a missionary.  this would be good stewardship.

so i did it.  i opened the trash can door, pulled the can out and looked in.  i was pleased to see mostly napkins and paper inside.  my sandwich was right on the top.  i pulled it out, there was nothing on the paper at all, no sticky veggies, no sauce, nothing.  my friends all reassured me that it was fine (but i still got a bag to carry it home in so i could stop touching it).  

and so here i am confessing something.  desperation?  complete proof that traveling overseas and living in 3rd world countries does change you in some ways?  my love for food?  

either way, i will be eating my sandwich tonight (even though i will wash my hands after i take it out of the paper and throw that away - i still have standards!).  as one of my friends remarked, "one man's trash is another man's treasure."  although in this case, it does seem that it is my trash that is my treasure.  ha!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

my teaching philosophy: whatever works!

(YAY!  many thanks to bethany who sent me to photobucket to upload my videos.  how easy!  here is my belated post from friday!)

doing "whatever works" would never have gotten me an A in my education courses, but i believe that you do whatever it takes for which ever child you're with to make learning happen.

kaleb has been resisting me for the past few weeks when it comes to letters. i just couldn't get his attention. he knew 'O' but he claimed every other letter was 'B' but yesterday we had a breakthrough that went straight to his all-boy heart! he got to hit and sweep each letter off of the table after he correctly said it. he didn't want to stop, he was enjoying it so much!





you can definitely tell that i've taught english to speakers of other languages in this video!

harvest soup

so i've been trying for two days to upload one short little video, but so far, no luck. instead i've decided to tell everyone about my wonderful soup success from this week! i am happy, of course, that it was really yummy and had rave reviews, but i think i'm even more excited about the fact that it was super thrifty!

i got everything in it through angel food ministries, basics i had on hand, food left from former roommates or friends when they've gone overseas, or from a sam's club $5 rotisserie chicken(which i keep bags of chicken and homemade stock in my freezer). It was super hearty and delicious.

Harvest Soup
1 bag frozen Edamame steamers (left by friends going overseas)
1/2 Small Bag of Soup Bean Mix (Angel Food)
2 small white onions (Angel Food)
1/2 of a red onion
Minced Garlic
3-4 cups of Shredded Chicken (Sam's Rotisserie)
5 cups of Chicken Broth (homemade from Sam's Rotisserie)
2 white potatoes
2 red potatoes
1 bag of frozen mixed veggies (corn, green beans, etc) (Angel Food)
1/2 bag whole wheat noodles (left by a former roommate)
Spices (Salt, Pepper, Basil, Bay leaves and Savory)
1/2 bag Spinach
I steamed and shelled the Edamame. I soaked the Bean Mix. The next day I sauteed the onions and garlic while boiling the cut up potatoes in water. I cooked the Bean mix. I defrosted the frozen chicken, broth, and veggies and then threw them all in with the cooked beans and added spices. I added the Edamame to cook and then the potatoes when they were almost done. I put in the noodles towards the last 10 minutes of cooking. The last thing I threw in was several large handfuls of spinach.

one of my friends commented that she felt like she had thanksgiving dinner in a soup when she had it for lunch yesterday. what a compliment! i just really was wanting to use the edamame in something! but i am pretty pleased with this yummy soup/stew. i think the recipe is a keeper. and binkley girls, look close in the background. do you recognize the napkin?? thanks to kelsey and travis's wedding, i've made the switch to using only cloth napkins! i love it!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

pumpkin carving!

this is totally belated, but i wanted to post a few pictures from our pumpkin carving party a few weeks ago.  unfortunately really hard life stuff came up and has delayed me, but better late than never!

we must have had at least 20 pumpkins, if not more.  everyone went to town.  we had patterns, but by the time i started mine, i didn't like any of the patterns left.  i wasn't in the mood to do spooky so i freehanded a flower.  i took my work very seriously, as you can see.



to top off things, several of us made harvest-y treats.  i am very pleased with what i made, a little idea from a kids' activity book.  these mini "jack-o-lanterns" were actually hollowed out oranges that had pumpkin pie filling baked in them.  the faces were made possible by good ole sharpie and voila!  cute little jack-o-lantern pumpkin treats!  easy and fun!  a two year old helped me make them!




Monday, November 3, 2008

it only feels like everything will change

today it feels like our entire world is shaken. 

today hurts.  

today there is fear in the air.  it feels like nothing will ever be the same and that the only possible outcomes could be bad.

that decisions of others could ruin everything forever.



but what of my sovereign God?  He is bigger.  He is stronger.  He is holy.  

and He will reign.  even when you feel like things possibly couldn't get worse - He is bigger than your fear, your hurts.  


this applies to some aches on my heart today and i'm sure will apply to about half of my friends tomorrow, when the candidate they believe in doesn't get elected.  

all i can and will say over and over is - Glory to God in the Highest.  He is first and last.  He is great and glorious.  and we need not live in despair because - Behold!  Even now He is making all things new!  even now i wonder how i can type this through my tears and all i can say is that deep down, i know that there is no greater truth than God's sovereignty.  

Christ in you is the hope of glory.  hold fast to Him.  hold fast to hope.  take every burden to Him for He is everything.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

gypsy wedding

while i was in bulgaria, i got the chance to go back to berkovitza and see two of the girls i worked with get married. the girl in video was celebrating her 1st day of the wedding, and later that evening we took part in the 3rd and final day of the wedding celebration for her first cousin.

from what i saw, it was a whole lot of this style of dancing and a lot of food. an interesting cultural experience for sure.

the white girl in the wedding party is michelle. she's with nmsi and has just moved to berkovitza full time. she was a bridesmaid in both weddings. doesn't her dress look like Belle's from Beauty and the Beast??


video

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

el presidente phil



this is nmsi's president phil.  he loves all of our kids.  he cares for each of our workers deeply. he's been given so much wisdom from God.  

and during triennial, when one of our 2 year olds got horrible motion sickness on the bus - he helped me clean up throw up.  

that's a good president.

we're blessed.

Monday, October 20, 2008

i miss a couple of people


it was wonderful reconnecting with friends at the triennial (my organization's conference and retreat - held every three years for everyone that works with us around the world).  it was in bulgaria and greece.  

the hard part, however was saying goodbye to wonderful friends all over again, knowing that there is a possibility of not seeing them again for 3 years.  

Sunday, October 19, 2008

back

so a month later, i'm back in the country.  i've been in bulgaria and greece, so my plans are to do a few post-triennial posts over the next few days.  we'll see if it's actually accomplished.  

stay tuned.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

sooooo excited!!!


i'm very excited to show off my new cabinets and counter that just got installed in my classroom!!

they are going to make my life so much easier and it's just one more step of making the classroom look less like a back porch (which it originally was) and more like a real classroom!

(also note the great changing table that one of our missionaries left!)


Sunday, August 31, 2008

famousocity

i can't help it.  

part of me wants to tell my few readers to tell their friends, increase my readership!  i want to be famous!

it's really not my fault.  i got the bug when i was in preschool on the church christmas program, uttering those famous first lines, "christmastime is when santa claus comes!"  i heard the slight chuckle from the crowd and i was hooked.  i got to do my favorite thing, pretending, in front of everyone and win them over good.  it was fabulous.  

so now, the constant battle rages.  do i do things for God's glory?  for pure enjoyment?  or because secretly deep down, i want hundreds of people to read my words, (or listen to me speak, eat my food, etc...) and be amazed at my wit, humor, charm, and giftedness.  

sadly i know the answer is too often the later.


(to put minds at ease, my character in that first play was later given a lesson on the true meaning of christmas. ) 

i'm going to be blogging a whole lot more...

i am now over 24 hours into living in my own place.

on my own.  still on campus.  but by myself.  alone.  with lots of time to myself.  did i mention i'm alone?  

now do not get me wrong, i thrive and recharge on my own.  i have a very active inner-mental life that is quite entertaining and enjoyable (if i do say so myself).  in fact i may be at my most charming when i'm alone - too bad for everyone else!

this new lifestyle change came from a combination of several things, including the need to fit one more girl into the fall coat (community, orientation, assessment, training) program and my need to have a space for all the coat kids.  you see we have a room, but that room is missing some key things, like nap space, and oh, a friendly wonderful place we know as a bathroom.  my new place just happens to be attached to the kid room, aka the back porch, and so now i live where i work, or as i like to think of it, i work from home!  there is a small room in the apartment that is being filled with pack n plays and a bassinet.  and yes, there is a bathroom.

now, while i'm quite keen on inviting people over and going to see people, when push comes to shove, i will be spending more alone time.   this is the first time in over 7 years that i haven't lived with a bunch of girls.  

so here's what i've noticed:

  • sleeping in house where i know, i know that i won't be woken up by anyone's voice, phone call, loud feet, snoring, heavy breathing, etc... is bliss.  truly.  
  • sleeping in a queen sized bed alone is lonely.  i thought i would love all the room.  a double bed is perfect, i couldn't imagine sharing a bed with another person, i was just fine with my space.  but this bed, this is too much space.
  • i notice everything now.  like intently watching my toilet to see if it still leaks water each time it is flushed.  because i have to notice - no one else will!
  • that i'm getting very bad about narrating out loud when i cook (the result of many hours watching food network)
  • i was, in fact, responsible for drinking the majority of the sweet tea in my house.  now i have no way of denying it.
  • groceries for one is ridiculous.
  • i know it's excessive, but i lock every lock at night.  down to the chain lock that makes me feel a little bit like i'm in a hotel. so no worries mom and random friend or two that read this, every night i click and turn and slide and secure myself in good and tight.  
  • and finally, i, the girl who did not eat more than 3 vegetables until my 20s, was bummed out when i realized that i forgot to get broccoli today on my shopping trip - with no roommate broccoli to fall back on.  i really wanted that green goodness.  and then i secretly made fun of myself inside my head for craving broccoli.  i mean, who craves broccoli?  
look out world, abigail's in her mid-twenties and craving the greens.  the apocalypse is surely around the corner.


Friday, August 22, 2008

spellbound - and for once i'm not talking about wicked

we just watched jbc's version of godspell together, my roommates and me. 

and that accurately describes how i feel now that it's over - i am in a God - spell.
i am spellbound by Christ's life and His sacrifice.  how utterly and deeply betrayed and alone He was - how He still gave it all after that

and how unbelievably breathtaking it is to see His victory for all.

as it says all in one voice, "prepare ye the way of the Lord" and "long live God"

He is, was, and always will be.

how does one describe the depth of Christ in those moments you are smacked with it?  i don't think i can.  but i am in awe right now.  i am spellbound.  

come and join the mighty chorus the stars began - 

Joyful Joyful Lord We Adore Thee

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

home town shenanigans

thank you so much for sending me this rachel -


From today's Comet -

Burlington Police Dept.

July 31 - Hammond investigated report of a goat running loose on Jackson Street.  Goat was located and turned over to Burlington Meats.


and that's all I have to say about that

Burlington here I come

Monday, August 11, 2008

baby face, you've got the cutest little baby face...



last night i was asked to help watch kids at a nearby church while they had an all church meeting.  they were needing an "Adult Presence" to help the youth group kids who had volunteered.  i was the adult presence for the 5 year olds through...well, the youth group kids.  it was a mad house.  midway through the 3 and half hour meeting (i'm not joking) a mom came up with her 5 year son.  she was clearly nervous as she scoped the scene.  she finally looked at one of the youth group girls and said, "i was going to leave him up here, but since there are no adults in charge, i'm really not ready to let him run loose with all the kids."  i was, in fact, standing right next to the woman when she said that.  

me:  actually, um, i'm the adult in charge.

(confused look from concerned mom)

me:  i'm deceptively young looking.  i'm actually 25.

4 youth group girls in unison:  really???!!  we thought you were new in the youth group!

concerned mom (skeptically): oh, well, uh, i guess he can stay - do you want to stay little billy?


yup, babyface alter strikes again. 

 

and just to prove my point - a picture of me from friday, holding my olympic hoopla treat (rice crispy olympic rings!)  - i look like any other proud 14 year old... except for the fact that i am, in fact, 25.   seriously.  i'm not joking.  i can show you my license.  promise.


Saturday, August 2, 2008

it's not easy being green

actually, it's wonderful!

just a few pics from the nmsi talent show a few weeks ago for my mom to see.  i did a duet with one of my kids from the show 'wicked.'  i also did an alternate ending of the melting scene, it was wonderful fun!




Saturday, July 26, 2008

lilacs and sari dreams

today i've road tripped all through my memory.

i remembered how much i love the smell of lilacs.  how much
 i miss having a lilac bush right outside my bedroom window, like i did as a little girl.  i miss playing under the big lilac bush.  i miss cutting sprigs of lilac and putting them in my locker to enjoy all day long in high school.

i forgot that they were my favorite.  oh, yellow roses with red tips will always be my favorite gift flower...but lilacs, they are my favorite flower over all other flowers.  

lilacs make me feel little girl happy.

i remembered how much i love karen carpenter's voice.  that her voice is the most hauntingly beautiful voice i've ever heard.  and that tammy scott's voice is the nearest thing in the world.  and i remembered that i had decided that if i ever got married someday, tammy must sing.  and that every time i go to my home church, i pray that tammy will sing.  

and i remembered the stories of my friends, the binkleys.  when they returned from india when i was young.  how much i wanted to go with them.  and how much, in envy, i wanted beautiful sari's like theirs when they returned.  i lost my envy in time, but today, oh today, my friend raynor brought me back my very own sari.  it's beautiful.  it's silk.  it's dark teal.  did i mention beautiful?

childhood dreams come true.  

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

babies

it is a well known fact among my friends and family that i love babies.  all children really.  God has called me to care for them in so many different ways.  and i really can't think of a time in my life that children haven't been an integral part.  

so that is where the beauty and pain come hand in hand.  since i am 25 - the typical married, start having babies age - countless numbers of my friends have had are having these wonderful blessings from God.  i love the pictures.  i love meeting them.  i love rejoicing with them.  each bump picture and ultrasound picture from childhood friends, college friends, nmsi friends, is an exciting development.  each child is beautiful.  and as they grow, i get excited at each little development.

and there is that small twinge in my heart.  the part that waits.  that prays.  and wonders.  if i will ever be able to love.  (i worry less about someone being able to love me...nmsi community has shattered the lie that i'm unlovable)  if someday i will have a telltale bump.  if someday i will get to watch my own little ones totter their first steps.  

and my heart aches for friends who hold the heartache of not being able to bear children themselves.  missionary friends who don't have the resources to exhaust the extents of medicine or adoption.  who wait and pray.

most days i don't even feel the twinge.  i just thank God for giving me all of these wonderful children in my life.  that i'm surrounded by all of these kids that i love and who love me back.  but, about as often as the seasons change - i feel a twinge - and i wait - and i pray.

and put my trust in God and His sovereignty.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

where do dreams go when they are asleep?

today i went to the theater.  a dinner theater, where everything was nice. 

and that same old feeling came.  not back, because it never leaves.  the feeling that i want to be up on that stage, any stage.  

and i'm not.

and i would love to cook.  all the time.  for people.  

and i love children.  i don't want to not be caring for them.

and i love to write.  i would love to sit and write beautiful and hard things.

and i can't imagine not being in ministry

so what do i do with all of these dreams?  i have yet to figure out how to do them all.  

some days the world seems limitless.  some days and today, it hurts.  

i wonder if i'm bad for wanting more than i've been given. 

on one hand, i want to do these things to bring joy and help to others.

yet my other hand wants to be known famous for any and all. 

i don't like discontent. 

some days i feel small. 

if anyone has heard of any openings for a singing actress chef writer missionary to children, let me know 

or maybe i'm already that

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

time of solitude

how quickly i break my own rules
unwilling.
unwanting.
afraid of solitude
and too busy
for God.
so my planner is out
my notebook of ideas too
closed but still in reach
why can't i push them away?
i can't sit still
can't focus
can't find a God who seems real
i can't find the time to try.
why can i write about God,
yet fear to pray?
why are we to timid and shy
to praise the God of our lives?
voices barely heard
sharing adoration
barely felt
do we really believe?
how can faith sound so right
and never feel real?
why are we dead inside?
why don't we praise?
why can't i shout Your name
instead of my timid "amen?"
why do i fear?
this pit
the gnawing pit inside
tells me this isn't right
we are holding back 
or maybe don't really believe
so we stay scared
stay busy
stay silent
stay away
from Him
who always
stays.

Friday, May 30, 2008

this is the hardest job i've ever done

it's funny how God shows up.  today i sat with a group of mk's (missionary kids) and held two of them as they sobbed.  they are grieving the only home they have ever known in s. america.  one asked why God would take them there only to have them come back 10 years later.  the other kids sat around, offering a reassuring hand on the back or tear filled eyes of their own.  the other 3 kids packed up and moved out from their home in tennessee forever, just two days ago.  these kids all get loss.  they feel it hard.  they are all grieving.  and it hurts. and it's hard. and not a single one of us denies it.  it sucks.  there is no better word.  

we can't claim that it was some great teaching tool that lead us to this point.  in fact we were bumbling along at this point.  yet something, said by sarah, my assistant, in her prayer caused one of these beautiful sisters to break.  and her broken heart exposed broke her older sister, who cried for the next half hour.  the younger sister then took a role of comforting her sister, just whispering in her ear, "it's hard, it's so i hard, i know."  every person at the table felt the emotion as we sat and affirmed the hardness and seeming unfairness of it all.  

my heart breaks for these kids.  for their loss.  their confusion.  for the fact that none of them chose this life, yet it's the one they have.  i can't fix it.  i can grieve with them.  and it hurts.  it's going to keep hurting.  God give me strength.  because He is the only one who can.  He is the one who truly understands how much this hurts.  

Sunday, March 23, 2008

now i lay me down to sleep


oh who am i kidding...i'm way to awake to go to sleep.  time for another rousing round of level 2 sudoku.

praise Jesus for a blissfully boring saturday.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

today

i am a mac owner

i am thankful that i didn't get caught in the rain

i am in need of a nap

i am a walker of 2.5 miles pushing 60+ lbs of stroller

i am wearing a white shirt (see #2)

i am choosen by the I AM

Monday, March 17, 2008

today

i wish to be accused of cutting school.


i know i look young. i might as well have some fun with it.

Monday, March 3, 2008

martha

the other night i was cleaning up from a party our house hosted, alone in the kitchen, while the last few people chatted away in the living room. my first fleeting thought was, "here i am again, being the martha." but just as quickly as that thought came to me, the realization struck me hard, martha was in the kitchen alone while her sister mary was with Jesus. but here i was in the kitchen, but far from alone. as i realized that i was with Jesus in the kitchen the joy filled me and spilled out into the suds filled sink with my dishes.