Friday, May 30, 2008

this is the hardest job i've ever done

it's funny how God shows up.  today i sat with a group of mk's (missionary kids) and held two of them as they sobbed.  they are grieving the only home they have ever known in s. america.  one asked why God would take them there only to have them come back 10 years later.  the other kids sat around, offering a reassuring hand on the back or tear filled eyes of their own.  the other 3 kids packed up and moved out from their home in tennessee forever, just two days ago.  these kids all get loss.  they feel it hard.  they are all grieving.  and it hurts. and it's hard. and not a single one of us denies it.  it sucks.  there is no better word.  

we can't claim that it was some great teaching tool that lead us to this point.  in fact we were bumbling along at this point.  yet something, said by sarah, my assistant, in her prayer caused one of these beautiful sisters to break.  and her broken heart exposed broke her older sister, who cried for the next half hour.  the younger sister then took a role of comforting her sister, just whispering in her ear, "it's hard, it's so i hard, i know."  every person at the table felt the emotion as we sat and affirmed the hardness and seeming unfairness of it all.  

my heart breaks for these kids.  for their loss.  their confusion.  for the fact that none of them chose this life, yet it's the one they have.  i can't fix it.  i can grieve with them.  and it hurts.  it's going to keep hurting.  God give me strength.  because He is the only one who can.  He is the one who truly understands how much this hurts.  

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