Wednesday, June 11, 2008

time of solitude

how quickly i break my own rules
unwilling.
unwanting.
afraid of solitude
and too busy
for God.
so my planner is out
my notebook of ideas too
closed but still in reach
why can't i push them away?
i can't sit still
can't focus
can't find a God who seems real
i can't find the time to try.
why can i write about God,
yet fear to pray?
why are we to timid and shy
to praise the God of our lives?
voices barely heard
sharing adoration
barely felt
do we really believe?
how can faith sound so right
and never feel real?
why are we dead inside?
why don't we praise?
why can't i shout Your name
instead of my timid "amen?"
why do i fear?
this pit
the gnawing pit inside
tells me this isn't right
we are holding back 
or maybe don't really believe
so we stay scared
stay busy
stay silent
stay away
from Him
who always
stays.

1 comment:

Jenna'sMommy said...

abby this is exactly how i've been feeling.

i miss you.

i love you.