where do dreams go when they are asleep?

today i went to the theater.  a dinner theater, where everything was nice. 

and that same old feeling came.  not back, because it never leaves.  the feeling that i want to be up on that stage, any stage.  

and i'm not.

and i would love to cook.  all the time.  for people.  

and i love children.  i don't want to not be caring for them.

and i love to write.  i would love to sit and write beautiful and hard things.

and i can't imagine not being in ministry

so what do i do with all of these dreams?  i have yet to figure out how to do them all.  

some days the world seems limitless.  some days and today, it hurts.  

i wonder if i'm bad for wanting more than i've been given. 

on one hand, i want to do these things to bring joy and help to others.

yet my other hand wants to be known famous for any and all. 

i don't like discontent. 

some days i feel small. 

if anyone has heard of any openings for a singing actress chef writer missionary to children, let me know 

or maybe i'm already that