tightrope

i am a tightrope walker
balancing alone before the crowd
grin plastered on
feet precariously searching
for a place of rest
crowd smiles and cheers
i look for a moment to check
i cannot hear them
cannot see their faces anymore
the rope beneath me seems steady and strong
yet i cannot ignore the voice
the voice urging me to fall
fall?
after how far i've come?
my path to the rope was not easy
but i endured
i rose to the challenge
that i believed was mine
i made the climb
i saw others fall from the ladder
miss steps
fall to the ground
some rose, some left
to paths unknown to me
as i continued to climb
i knew my way was priveledged
i knew i was strong
fall?
no never.
cheers of the crowd are food to me
accolades that are undeserved
my pulse races
fall?
there is no net!
nothing to break my fall
i would be left
broken
like others. like before.
broken
left to crawl
to where? to what?
what lies outside the walls i've built?


the voice reassures me
'you will heal'
'you will make it'
but to what?
this rope, this balance i've made
i was sure it was the way
the path i was to take
but i can't see its end
my goal
is gone
do i press on?
do i fall?
fall to be broken
broken to be healed?
what will become of me
when i no longer walk this tightrope
can i trust the voice?
the voice calling me to fall
will i be able to lay aside pride
and fall?
can i trust the voice
that urges me so
and know that the voice will also be
the healer of the broken tightrope walker


and i will not have to crawl alone

*note - i wrote this several years ago and have posted it before.  it is feeling especially true once again.

in honor of valentine's day

every year the single guys at NMSI invite the single girls over for dinner and entertainment.  i have no idea what this year has in store for us - but last year matt entertained us with this little ditty - and it was recently made into a video.  enjoy!!

Breadstick Recipe

here's my very first (possibly last) recipe video!  it's pretty rough because I filmed almost all of it myself - but the recipe is absolutely delicious and hopefully you'll enjoy my goofy how-to video.  the recipe is below.  it's a great recipe because the rising times are short so it can be pretty easily made for dinner and they give pizza hut a run for their money!

1 1/2 c. warm water

1 packet yeast

2 tbsp. sugar

combine and let sit for 5 minutes, until yeast is foamy.

add to that:

3 c. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

either kneed for 5 minutes (very difficult because it's a very sticky dough) or mix in a kitchen aid mixer for 5 minutes with the bread hook attachment.  it will be very sticky.  let it sit for 10 minutes.

melt:

4 tbsp. of butter 

pour into bottom of large 4-sided cookie sheet.  pour dough into butter and turn it until it's totally covered.  smoosh dough out into pan and add toppings.  i like parmesan, garlic salt and italian seasoning.  let sit for another 15 minutes.  preheat oven to 350.  

use a pizza cutter to cut dough into breadsticks.  bake for 20 minutes.  recut after you take them out and enjoy!

a treat - i hope - after my long absence

posts have been lacking lately because i have been busy.  it's been a hard adjustment with this new group.  a lot of defiance and a baby who just doesn't like to go to sleep and will wrestle to stay awake.  but this afternoon three lovely people from the office, including jen have taken on the kids (9 of them!) for the afternoon - giving me time to do planning, play catch up and blog!!

so, i thought in honor of my afternoon "off" - i would do something fun and post video of the new house that God has bless us at NMSI with and the amazing new kid's area that was built on to the "garage" of it.  (i'll add the kid's video later).  watch them in order to get the complete tour.  hope you don't mind the narration, i tried to make it as non-annoying as possible.  :-)

not me monday

i saw this over on my friend bethany's blog and just burst out laughing.  i just said today that i need to start keeping log of how many spills, falls and accidents i've been having lately!  my new year's streak seems to continue!

so in the past 24 or so hours:

i didn't fall down my back steps in the rain and twisted both ankles, not me!

and i certainly haven't spilled two entire glasses of sweet tea, one all over the kitchen counter and one all over the living room floor - oh no, not me!

and i didn't drop two containers of soap 

or cut my own thumb open with my fingernail getting ready

or trip coming in my front door or going up the stairs, more than once

and certainly didn't try to move a full file cabinet to the office to the kids area in the pouring rain, only to have it tip over on me in the sand!  the wet sand!  oh no not me!  

meet the kids

my crew for the next two months:

Nathan/Nate (12)

Israel/Izzy (8) - those dreadlocks match his daddy's! - Just got out of the hospital after a week long stay because of his asthma

Ezra (7), brother to Izzy

Ezekiel/Zeke (5), brother to Izzy & Ezra

Jazmine/Jazzy (6), sister to Nate 

Hazel (9 months)

Laura, my assistant/co-teacher for this COAT, age undisclosed ;-)

hands full?  i think so.