Friday, June 12, 2009

fear

i just broke down into tears at the thought of going to a new small group tonight from my church.  i was trying to explain to friends in the office about how i did not want to go.  it's the "young adults" aka "singles" group that has been meeting together, most of them for years.  

and i'm terrified.  

i'll be the oldest one there.  and while my face says, "hi, i'm 15," as one friend recently put it - i was born older.  i feel at home with my friends who are married and have families - not only because they are my age, but in many ways i relate to them.  but the truth of the matter is, like it or not, i'm in a different place than them, and only hanging out with my married mommy friends has allowed a root of bitterness to be sown inside my heart.  and i have to uproot it.  not by getting rid of my mommy friends, but by stepping out of my comfort zone and going to a life group of single people - even though i'm petrified of the unknown of it all.  will we have anything in common?  will i be able to mesh into this already tight-knit group?  

my friends at the office have talked me into going - so at 7 pm tonight I should be pulling in the driveway of this small group.  pray that i feel God's strength enough to walk in.  

4 comments:

Lena said...

I soooo understand! Be strong Abigail...you can do it!

Anonymous said...

just saw your blog at 10:00--praying it went well & you & they benefited from each others being together...what an opportunity for sharing God's blessings! MOM

EmileeHopeBinkleyTurner said...

So I just saw your blog this morning...how did it go? Moving around a bunch as a kid it was hard to go to a new youth group all the time, especially since you were the "new kid" and everyone else already knew each other-but as we get older and set in our "confort zones" I am sure this was even harder. I know God was with you thru it all giving you strength. You might be surprised at how much fun your going to have-especially if you try some new things that are different than you would normally do. It is alway fun to find a new interest-like American Idol on the Xbox-one of the greatest games ever!! Soooo much fun! Hope you have having a wonderful weekend!!

Andy's Bethy said...

I didn't get this read until now... but am eager to hear how it went. Even if you didn't enjoy it, did you see potential for enjoying it?
I have worked really hard to keep friendships alive with college friends who have not married or had children, even though we are on different paths right now. When you share Jesus, you can always find something in common.
Love you!